


Not Oki Doki

by ETNMystic



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel), Our ETerNity Together (Web Series AU)
Genre: Attempted Mindbreak, Attempted Seduction, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Deal With A Clown, F/F, Technological Invasion, addictive hypnosis ability-granting drugs, and i'm really stressing ATTEMPTED here, and stalkery, but also being super creepy, classical conditioning plot, forced wedding business deal thing, just monika being well monika, merlin the meme king, multiple basements, nah nah nah sister you're not gettin me to no secondary location, sorry Delta, yeah this is a be-careful-what-you-wish-for scenario
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:06:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 38,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22570699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ETNMystic/pseuds/ETNMystic
Summary: When Mystic ends up placing DDLC into her ship generator, she finds herself the obsession of its antagonist, and she's one that getting rid of is much easier said than done.
Relationships: ETNMystic (Fandom RPF)/Ivy Flora (OC), ETNMystic (Fandom RPF)/Monika (Doki Doki Literature Club!)
Comments: 73
Kudos: 5





	1. A Little Bit of Monika

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Just!Monika](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19754926) by [NervousAliceCurious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NervousAliceCurious/pseuds/NervousAliceCurious). 



My eye twitched.

The newest ship that had spurted out of my random ship generator had emerged.

**_Vampire!Killer Kerrie x Pervert!Calvin x Innocence!Mermaid!Rosanna x Monika_ **

_Thanks. I hate it._

At least it wasn't any of my friends.

Or the Cursed God.

But still.....

_Alice and Cinna are gonna go nuts when they see this._

I scrolled over to copy it---

ERROR.

"What the hell?"

A scrambling of text appeared in the corner that read 

" _Sorry98@I#DeAr( >NoT*4432This983257tImE1010101"_

Out of nowhere, almost everything of that ship was yeeted out of existence.

Until all it said was 

**_Monika._ **

_**Just!Monika.** _

Memories of me watching a couple of YouTubers playing it flooded back. 

".....Oh no."

Words began to type on the screen.

**_Hello darling._ **

**__ **

**_It's me..._ **

For a few minutes, I said nothing. What even _could_ I say? Monika from _Doki Doki Literature Club_ was now stalking me?!? As if a cursed entity stalking me wasn't bad enough, now I had this sentient, batshit-crazy, virtual Yandere after me.

"W-wait, what?"

I hopped out of my chair.

"No, no, no, this cannot be happening. This can't be real-"

_You were warned about this you know._

_Why are you surprised?_

I-

Warned?

**_Monika's gonna hate you..._ **

A pit formed in my stomach. That conversation with Alice!

"No way...She was...she was _right?!?"_

_Mm-hm._

_I saw it all._

"You....you saw it."

_I did._

_Ever since you put me in the Generator._

I didn't want to hear anymore of this. Or, I guess, _see_ anymore of it.

I had to contact Alice, let her know what's up.

I went over to Discord-

ERROR.

_Sorry dear._

_I can't let you do that._

_Here._

_Let me just get rid of it for you._

_...._

Did....

Did that just happen?

Did Monika just yeet Discord off of my laptop?

"You've gotta be kidding me...!!"

_It's fine!_

_You'll get used to me, I'm sure._

_Maybe we'll become friends._

_Maybe we'll even become....._

_something more...._

Fuck no!

Fuck no!

This couldn't be happening!

Right?


	2. It Was Supposed to Be a Joke

**_Monika's gonna hate you._ **

My conversation with Alice earlier hit me like a fuckton of bricks.

_Why?_

**_She's always in love with the player._ **

**_Or the one creating the ships._ **

**_Using the generator._ **

I didn't mean it literally.

_Fuck. Anyone wanna write a fanfic about that?_

**_How many people would she be in love with right now?_ **

_I mean, you said she'd be in love with the one who made the generator...._

**_And that's you?_ **

_I mean, I added in most of the characters. I borrowed the script from someone and added and subtracted things._

_**Uh....uh-oh.** _

_**I mean, she may be able to mess up your computer, but she can't get out, right?** _

_Unless she and the Cursed God are in cahoots. Though I think he'd be infuriated if he found out someone was trying to take me from him._

**_Maybe._ **

**_But would he really suspect that a girl was into you?_ **

**_He's very good at underestimating._ **

_I mean, he saw me kissing those five at the "wedding."_

What the fuck had I done?

* * *

How much power did Monika have over my computer? If she could get rid of Discord, then she could yeet away everything on my laptop if she wanted to. She could change my wallpaper. My password. Everything!

There had to be another way to get to Alice, but I had to be sneaky. The only other way I knew of to contact her was via ao3. I pulled up the website.

_What are you doing?_

I tried to ignore Monika as I searched up NervousAliceCurious and clicked on _A Summons To The Dark._

"Hey Alice?" I typed into the comments.  
"Can you reply as soon as you see this?"

I didn't want to risk putting in anything more, lest Monika took that away as well. A simple click of the Comment button did the trick. Now I had to get Monika out of the generator.

I ventured towards the site and started scrolling through.

_Who is NervousAliceCurious?_

I decided to humor her.

"A friend."

_A really **good** friend?_

Nope. She had Plant Boi.

"Not that kind of friend! Damn, what are you, paranoid?"

_Just don't want anyone to take you away from me, that's all..._

"Fat chance of that happening," I rolled my eye.

_Fat chance?_

_How many girls **did** you kiss at that wedding?_

_And liked it?_

_Not to mention the poor Groom..._

I didn't give two shits about the groom, and now Monika was _really_ pushing the envelope.

"Okay, so I have an imagination!"

_An imagination that lets realities collide?_

"Yes. Absolutely."

_I don't know how, but I do._

_An imagination that lets someone like me exist...?_

She was definitely looking for something specific out of me.

"What kind of answer are you fishing for anyway?"

_I'm only pointing out that you have a lot more lovers than you'd care to admit._

L...

Lovers?

That was really crossing a line, Monika. I'm still a virgin. Thank God, I finally found her name.

"I think I'll have to take a rain-check on that."

Highlight.

Delete.

And done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This better work...


	3. Spoiler: It Didn't Work

This had to have worked, right?

I mean, there was no way,

there was no freaking way---

_…You must’ve really thought that would work._

Oh fuck you!

“How are you not…gone?”

_I knew you would do that, so I moved._

Should I have been surprised? No. 

Was I? Somehow.

“Moved where?”

_It’s a secret!_

How much can someone hate something?

_-Just kidding!_

XD

_It should be obvious where I am._

“You little bitch!"

_That’s not very nice, Mystic._

“Okay, and how do you know my name?”

**@LunaTheMystic**

Of course.

Of course this bitch would figure out my Discord name.

“I thought Sayori was supposed to be the Self-Aware one now”.

I snuck a peek in my emails and notifications, but no dice.

_I know you won't let me down, Alice._

_That’s only if you delete me in-game._

“Oh yeah?”

_Mm-hm._

“So that means Sayori and Yuri are very much dead right now”.

_Sorry to say, that is the Reality._

Yeah, no shit.

“And what about Natsuki?”

_...I actually have no idea._

Legit? I thought she was self-aware.

“What do you mean you don’t have any idea!?”

***Insert Shrugging Emoji***

_I got rid of her off-screen._

_Destroyed the character file._

_She never died like the others…_

_So I don’t know._

_Maybe she’s really gone._

_Or maybe she could be revived?_

"But you’d have to own the VN to do that."

_That is true._

By this time, I'd had it with Miss Virtual Yandere. Luckily, I never used the generator on my phone, thank God.

“Sorry Monika, but I just **can’t** with you right now”.

_Hm-?_

Computer? Shut.

Me? Breath of relief.

Hotel? Trivago.

I went on my phone and resent the comment. Luckily I got a reply not 3 seconds later.

**Hi Mystic!**

**What’s wrong?**

Thank the Lord!

"Remember our conversation on Discord earlier today?"

**The one about Monika?**

**Yeah.**

"She’s on my computer right now."

"And I can’t get rid of her."

It was an agonizing wait. Apparently it was only a few minutes, though, until she replied.

**Did you delete her from the Generator?**

"Yes."

"But apparently, that wasn’t enough."

**What about an anti-virus program?**

**Would that do it?**

Would it? I didn't know. I'm not a Computer Engineer!

"I don’t know."

"I guess I could try it…"

**You could also look for her character file.**

**Maybe the Finder would have it?**

**That’s how the MC did it in the game…**

Yeah, seems like the best thing to do.

"Thanks, Alice."

"I’ll try the file thing first, and then run the scanner if it doesn’t pan out."

**Okay!**

**Let me know how it goes!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. THIS better work.


	4. The Role I Can't Put On My Resume

I went to my laptop again after eating.

"I'm back," I sighed, cringing.

This was crazy, but it was better for me to just.....get it over with.

I flipped it open.

_Hello again..._

A green heart emoji popped up in the newest chat box. 

Monika was really shooting her shot, and missing.

"Hello again, Monika."

_Where'd you go so fast?_

"Had to go eat lunch."

_Ah._

_I've always wondered what real food tastes like..._

_We never did get to eat any of Natsuki's cupcakes._

"Well that's unfair."

It wasn't a total lie. Cupcakes are delicious.

_I know, right?_

_Sometimes I wonder why the Developers even bothered to give me a conscience to begin with._

"They must've had **some** reason!"

_Like what?_

A sad face emoji.

_I don't seem to have a purpose beyond an omniscient Tutorial._

"That's what it is, then," I exclaimed as I tried to keep the attention off of the trackpad.

"They wanted someone who could empathize with the Player."

_Mm..._

She...didn't seem convinced.

Did I fuck it up?

_But you don't need to be Self-Aware for that._

_Do you?_

I had to think up an excuse.

"Well, it's not like anyone's bothered to ever find out before."

I clicked on the finder nervously.

_...That's a good point._

Thank God she didn't catch on.

_C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!_

"Maybe that's the way it is for all Tutorial characters."

_Wow._

_Can you imagine how diabolical that would be?_

"Yeah. The few cruelly suffering for the many."

Where the fuck--?

Oh thank God! I found it.

I gave it a click and selected Options.

_You know, I really hope that’s it._

_I’d hate for my existence to be just some stupid fluke._

"Me too."

I decided to take the file on a nice trip to Trashville, aka the virtual version of where I'm from. A single click and the text began to get blitzy.

_What was that!?_

“I dunno," I lied.

“Maybe some kind of freak glitch?”

_Maybe…_

Double click.

_I hope it doesn’t happen again._

_It just reminds me of what happens whenever you power your computer down._

“What happens?”

_I’m surrounded by flashing lights, and bright colors-_

_It’s so vivid and static that I can’t think-_

_It hurts so much._

I did feel _a little_ bad hearing this. 

“Oh wow. Why is that?”

I searched through the list.

_I don’t know…_

_I wish it would stop._

Double-click on Monika.

“It will soon, I’m sure”.

And a-delete.

I felt so fucking relieved.

Monika was gone. 

Now to update Alice.

I went back to her fic and scrolled to the comments, typing.

"Hey, it's me.

"Monika's been deleted.

"How are things on your end?"

I waited, but there was no reply. Maybe Alice had to get lunch.

I shrugged. I was sure she'd be back.

In the meantime, time to check Disco---

Holy shit! All of these pings!

Cinna?

"They’re all gone!" Cinna had typed.  
"All the Kerries are gone!!"

"What?"

"Look at the pins!! No more Kerrie-heads!!!"

I checked through every single channel. 

Holy fuck. They weren't kidding. Every single one of our beautifully-monstrous memes of Kerrie was just.....gone. As if they were never there to begin with. I mean, we could always make new ones, but still.....all of that hard work...gone.

“Why the-!!? Why the heck!?" I asked.

"I don’t know!!"

There had to be a reasonable explanation.

"Did the tag glitch out or something?" 

"I don’t know that either-"

"Hahahaha-hahahahaha-!!"

What the actual fuck?!

Was...

Was that a clown cackle?

“This is getting really weird…”

I checked on Cinna's end.

"Cinna, do you hear any laughing on your end?"

"No. Why?"

"Because I do--"

What the hell? Did I just hear...rattling?

And then...a shadow?

_Welp, guess this is where I fucking die. But by what?_

"Cinna…" I typed back into Discord.

"Yeah?"

"You find any strange shadows?"

"No…"

Okay...so it was just me that was about to die, huh? 

Good to know.

Cinna sent another reply.

"Are you alright over there, Mystic?"

Clearly not.

"I…think I might be in trouble."

"In trouble!!?"

And then.....this red clown nose dropped onto my desk. My blood ran as cold as Antarctica.

" _Really_ big trouble," I added.

"What do you mean!!?"

"I just have this feelin-"

But my typing got cut off by two words whispered into my ear.

“Hello, dearie~”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm fucked.


	5. Kerrie in the House, Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cory in the House looks like a whole new anime now.

I didn't want to turn around.

Not even a little.

Not even a single degree.

But if this was who I thought it was, then I was fucked.

"Hi," I gulped as I slowly turned.  
"Kerrie."

“Hello, Miss Popularity! How’s it feel to be so wanted?”

This clown, with her blue and violet curls and red lipstick and all that jazz, Kerrie, was now in my room.

"Not great."

I quickly looked around desperate to find something to throw.

“Not when half of those people want to use you for nefarious purposes!!”

Bitch, stop laughing. 

“What? Not grateful that you finally get the chance to be special?”

I halted immediately. How? What?

I was speechless.

“Wh-? N-No-“

She approached me. I couldn't bring myself to back away, as she pulled a vine out of the pocket of her jumper.

“Then what’s the hesitation?”

Kerrie wove it through my hair, I felt nothing. I looked in the mirror, careful to avoid looking at my own face, and I saw this....beautiful crown of nature.

_Is...IS KERRIE TRYING TO WIFE ME UP LIKE THE SORCERESS IN SEASON 4?!?_

“How…how are you-!?”

“Why won’t you just accept that you could have everything you’ve ever wanted if you just let them show you?”

If I had to describe how what she just asked made me feel, I would say it was both discomforted, but also intrigued.

“What do you mean?”

I was so tempted to know--

“-Actually no, you know what?”

I found and clasped my hands tight over a long ruler.

"I don't need any of that! Not from _you._ "

That bitch snickered to herself.

"Sure, sure. If you say so..."

I was trying to ready myself to slap this cake-faced bitch.

"You're gonna kill me with _a piece of wood_?"

But there was something that I should've asked first.

"How are you even in this world!?"

"It's all your fault for making such a big deal".

"What-?"

"You really think I don't know about all the _love_ -ly meme channels you've made?  _Just_ for me?"

That was when it hit me.

"Not you too..."

First Monika, and now....Kerrie, whose grin was positively **evil**.

"Oh yes. I'm here to stay, baby!"

I had to slap the self-awareness out of her.

"Ah, ah, ah..."

_Zap!_

"Ow-!?"

_ "*Yawn...*  _ _So_ boring..."

"Wh- _Boring!?_ "

"Yeah.  I expected you to just be whippin' out those world-benders like nobody's business!"

I'd more than had it with Kerrie. I slammed her against the nearest wall.

"Ooh- Now _that_ is more like it!"

Why was she enjoying this!?!

"Get out of my house!"

"Not until we spend some quality time together; Idol and Fan~<3"

"In your dreams!!"

" _You_ are my only dream..."

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........

What. The fuck?

"W-what...!?"

"You, and the cute, little bear, and that saucy water miss-"

Oh fuck you! Coming after me was one thing, but this was another.

"Don't you _dare_ go after my friends!!"

Her hand took mine. It was pale and COLD AS FUCK.

"Then why don't you just hang out with me?  I'll be in town for quite a while by the look of things..."

"N-no way!"

Did Kerrie use steroids? Why was it so difficult to get outta her grasp?

"Then I'll go visit Cinna, and then Aqua.

**And I won't be responsible for what happens."**

Whoa. That escalated quickly.

"Okay, hang on. Let me see if I've got this right," I sighed.  
“You’re going to threaten me to spend time with you”.

“That’s _ri-i-ight~_ I am."

Look at her, all smug on her tiptoes. The bitch.

“You’ll do it, I know you will."

Uhhhh...bet.

“What makes you say that?”

“Because you always, _always_ want to carry the burden yourself in those Possession tales of yours."

“Yeah, but this is reality."

At that point, I wasn't even fazed by this. I'd half-expected her to read them.

“Doesn’t change a thing! I know you’d rather having to suffer yourself instead of condemning your poor, clueless friends in your place."

That cake-faced bitch.....

...was right.

I have a major self-blame and self-martyrdom problem and the AU makes me feel like I can actually do shit. But I wasn't gonna give her the satisfaction of knowing she got it on the nose.

“…You think you’ve got me all figured out. Don’t you?”

She just shrugged.

“I ought to. The Cursed God _did_ tell me all about you after all. Or have you already forgotten those beautiful recordings you put up?”

“I don’t even know where they came from!”

I swear, I had to _reeeeeeeeeeeally_ keep myself under control because I was just about ready to smack Kerrie to Kentucky.

“You said I could ‘bend worlds.' How do you know that I won’t just send you off to some empty dimension? And leave you there?”

“Because darling…”

I did _not_ like that look in her eyes. She had something to hold over my head.

“Nowhere can hold me anymore. Not after you raised me up high enough to hold such power. You, and Cinna, and Aqua…among others, of course."

“So it’d be impossible to get rid of you then."

“Pretty much, dear."

I swear to God, every single villain had some sort of pet name for me and I had no fucking clue why. But did I really have a choice with Kerrie? 

“Fine. Fine! You can have your ‘hangout time’”.

“Finally!”

I swear Kerrie was half python. Because the next second, she had me in a giant fucking hug.

“Hey!" I snapped pushing her away.  
“Don’t ever try to do that again."

“Whatever you say~”

And then it was like she was on crack.

“Ooh, this is going to be soooo much fun! We could go see Chucky in the movie theater! We could go scare the pants off of unsuspecting pedestrians on the way! We could eat nachos with cheese sauce and lots of red peppers afterwards so that it looks like we’re devouring the guts of our enemies-“

And that was when it hit me.

This was what my life had come to.

A killer clown threatening to spend time with me, some dumb-ass bitch who had released her boss into the fandom.

So as she raced around the room like a kid loaded on Pixy Stix, I began to regret and reconsider my life choices.


	6. Kerrie in the House, Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NANI?!?!

If there was ever a time in my life where I wouldn't be able to say anything except for "What the fuck has my life come to?" it'd be right now. 

Kerrie.

Killer Fucking Kerrie.

Was jumping on my bed.

“Wheeee~!!” she cheered.  
“This is so much fun-!”

I could practically hear the springs begging for mercy. If this broke, I'd probably have to skip town. I mean, how the fuck was I supposed to tell my parents?

Like, "Sorry, mom and dad, I just let a character from a web series on YouTube hop around the mattress until the frame collapsed"?

Fuck no! I had to do damage control.

“Kerrie…Kerrie why are you doing that!?”

“What’s the matter?” she mocked.  
“Never had a little fun before?”

“I’ve had fun-“

“Have you? Really!?”

Um excuse you, but lying on my bed alone in my room at 2 am writing fanfiction _is_ real fun. But I didn't get a chance to make a snark retort because the next thing I knew, I was up on the bed as well, with Kerrie holding my hands.

“Wh-hey!!”

“Relax…”

As if I was gonna relax around you.

“Trust me! You’ll have a good time~”

“Yeah right."

I tried to pull away, but did Kerrie put super glue on her hands at some point?

“I don’t want to jump on the bed, least of all with you!!”

“-But then you wouldn’t be fulfilling your end of the agreement, now would you?”

“…You wanted to hang out. Letting you share my room is hanging out”.

“But that’s so boringgg!-!-!” she whined.

I was being pretty generous by letting her hang out in my room.

“I mean it- _really_ mean it!”

“Oh I don’t doubt that…probably."

That was a lie. I definitely doubted it.

“Then what’s the issue?”

“I don’t have an issue! I just don’t want to jump!!”

“Horse feathers!”

Whomst the fuck says "horse feathers"?

“Everyone is due for a little fun once in a while-“

“Nice try, but I’ve actually got a lot to do and prepare for."

“Oh really? Like what?"

“School starts wicked-soon”.

“So?”

“So I have to pack up, move-in, pick out my audition materials, make sure I’ve completed all my Summer homework-“

“You made up that last bit!”

Damn you.

“I’m not that transparent-!”

“Says who?”

Oh fuck. I had to deflect the question.

“Look, you. Just because we created all those Meme Channels for you doesn't mean I'm not gonna drop my guard".

"Ugh, so doomy and gloomy!!" she groaned.   
"Do you always do this to your friends?"

I froze. Excuse me? Just because I'm an INFP does _not_ mean I'm always "doomy and gloomy."

"Ooh..."

She was practically torturing the bed springs.

"You do..."

"Can you _not!?"_

I tried to yeet myself away from her once again.

"That is _none_ of your business-"

"I live here now."

No, you don't.

"So technically, **it kind-of is."**

I was over this.

"Whatever-I'm out of here".

"Not so fast!"

Kerrie had absolutely no concept of personal space and/or leaving room for Jesus, as they say.

"Don't you think you deserve to forget about those troubles for a while?"

"-Does 'personal bubble' mean anything to you!?"

"C'mon. Forgetting might help a lot more than you're willing to admit."

_I'm sorry about this, but also I'm not at all sorry._

I planted my foot in her chest.

"-Oomph!!"

Sending her flying back.

"!?"

But also dragging me down with her.

"KERRIE-!!??"

In hindsight I should've seen that coming.

"Aaahhh..."

_Cover your mouth when you cough, bitch._

"That...was...a...nice...hit...!!"

What the fuck?!? Why was she enjoying this? Was Kerrie some sort of....masochist?!?!

"Cooool...you've got what it takes to be a stellar Killer Clown!!"

_Oh hell no!_

I shot up, pulling away from her.

“So-so-what do we do first!?”

How much muscle did her jaw have? That stupid grin was practically off of her face!

“Are you gonna be this energetic the entire fucking time?” I huffed.

“YES!”

“Why…?”

“Because YOLO-!“

I would've questioned how she even _knew_ YOLO, as she's from 1978, but this was Kerrie. 

“That meme is practically dead!”

_And I wish **you** were as well._

“That makes it even better."

“How!?”

“Because it’ll annoy everyone I meet~”

“Of course."

Of course she'd enjoy being a public nuisance. 

“So. What do we do first?"

_To quote Princess Diaries 2, "Why don't you go underwater, and I'll count to a million?"_

“Well, Ms. Energizer Bunny, I still have to pack”.

“….So?”

“So help me”.

“…..But that’s not fun”.

“It can be fun if we make it”.

“How do we make it fun?”

_You're from a damn carnival! You tell me!_

“Gee, I don’t know. You’re the clown. Shouldn’t you know how to make it fun?”

“But I’m the Guest."

“And?”

“You have to Host."

“….And?”

“You have to do all the things."

I swear to God, she was just fucking with me now.

“You should help, once in a while”.

“Maybe in…oh, I don’t know. A while”.

_MaYBe iN…oH, I Don’T kNOw. A wHiLe._

I had to find a way to trip her up.

“Alright, wise clown. How many vines do you know?”

Surely there was no way-

“Ooh~”

_Oh dear God._

“I’m so glad you asked-“

* * *

‘He needs some milk-‘

_Kill me._

‘I smell like beef~’

_Someone, please, kill me._

‘On all levels except physical: I am a wolf.'

_Just bash my head in or something._

‘Ruff~’

_Get me away from this._

‘Let’s get white-girl wasted!!’

_SHE'S BEEN DOING THIS FOR THE **PAST** **TWO HOURS!!!**_

“Come on, you aren’t gonna smile?”

“I refuse to smile”.

“Awww, don’t be that way~”

_Unless you have a death wish, DO NOT poke my cheek._

“Come onnnn~”

“Do you want to get hit?”

I was full-on ready to take this bitch out.

“Ooh. Kinky”.

“No it’s not!”

“You forget who you’re talking to”.

“How in the hell could I!??”

_Deep breaths, Mystic. Deep breaths._

“Heheheheh~”

"Something wrong, darlin'?"

_Oh God. Not the pet names._

"Please, don't ever say that again."

"Something wrong, Mysty?"

_It's time to stop! It's time to stop, okay? No more! ~~Where the fuck are your parents? Who are your parents? I'm gonna call child support services.~~ It's time to stop!_

"Or that".

"Well, what d'you want me to call you?"

"Just. Mystic."

"Alright then...Mystic".

Don't tilt your head. It doesn't make you look cute.

"What's goin' on?"

"......Are you planning on stowing away to college with me?"

"HELL YES".

"...........Yeah, that's not working out."

"Awww, why not?"

_Because I'd rather send you to Neptune and have your head explode._

"Because I can't hide you anywhere. Very well."

"-You promised, though."

_Uhhh. I remember no such promise, but go off, I guess._

"I know! I know, but-"

"I can fit in your closet-"

_Suuuuuuuuure._

"You can, huh."

"Yup!"

_How the flying fuck is she turning into some tiny cube in my closet?_

".....Kerrie?"

"Just chilling~"

As much as I despised her being there, I had to admit. It was pretty cool.

"You better be prepared to do it tomorrow."

"Oh Mystic, I _came_ prepared."

_Dear God, save me._

* * *

I could barely sleep that night.

Kerrie snored.

She _snored._

_God, please take my soul._

Like an elephant.

On helium.

After devouring a dozen out-of-tune car horns in one sitting.

I wanted to suffocate her so badly. I was so tempted to end her life because......HOW THE FLYING FUCK CAN ONE BITCH SNORE SO DAMN LOUD?

_I just want her gone...._

Then I woke up.

"Kerrie...?"

**Boo.**

Oh fuck!

You know what? She deserved to get decked in the face.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAA~~~!!!!!"

_"I hate you so much right now."_

"No you don't~"

_I really do._

But she skipped away before I could tell her that.

"....Why me?"


	7. Kerrie in the House, Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sore wa chigau yo!

I didn't even know what Kerrie was doing. She was folding herself into a small square, flattening herself into a cardboard cut-out, and even hang from my ceiling fan. 

All within the span of thirty seconds!

How was I supposed to pack when that stupid fucking clown was distracting me?!?

“So far so good, Mystic."

_Don't whisper in my ear like that! It's really fucking creepy. And I highly doubt that it's going well._

“Really! We’ve done good so far-“

“Yeah, and I’m gonna lose my mind if this keeps up!!”

Whether or not I _had_ my mind at this point was debatable.

“You only have to suffer for ten more minutes. You’ll be fine!”

“‘Fine’. Uh-huh. Sure”.

“Oh dear…”

The damn whispering agai--

HOLY FUCK!

She was rubbing my back.

Either she was condescending or trying to wife me up. Either way I wasn't having it.

“Hey!”

“Now, before you deck me-“

“What are you doing!?”

“Trying to make you feel better."

_There's something called CONSENT._

“Ask. First”.

“Alright. Mystic. May I rub your back to make you feel better?”

I didn't hesitate for even a second.

“No."

“Okay then."

I knew I'd taken her down a peg, but.....I couldn't help but feel a little bad. I had to get her out of the room.

“…Look. Why don’t you work through the plan outdoors, while I just…”

_Bang my head against the wall? Try not to break down crying? Pray to God she forgets about me? All of those seem like good options._

“Aye, aye, Captain! I shall start thinking immediately!”

Good. Please yeet yourself out of my existence.

* * *

How the fuck?

Kerrie, this noisy-ass clown from Hell.

Yeeted past both parents _and_ my sister-

To leap, fucking leap like a damn ballerina, into the back of the trunk, and roll neatly behind all of the other bags.

I wished this was some sort of fever dream.

The clown winked, and I had to hold myself back from snarking back.

“Time to go."

“I’m coming."

I gave Kerrie a glare that said "If you so much as make even a single sound, I will rip your head off."

And she grinned like a fucking Cheshire Cat!

_Oh dear God, please save me from this demonic clown._

Hopefully, she’ll stay down in there.

_Knock on wood._

* * *

The entire car ride, there wasn’t so much as a _peep_ from Kerrie, thank God.

Anxiety: Are you sure about that?

Either I was extremely lucky or Kerrie had something worse planned. Honestly, wouldn't put it past her, on the other hand she _did_ seem like she felt bad about the whole causing-me-anxiety-by-trying-to-hide-her-from-my-family business earlier…

Why am I feeling bad for making her feel bad?!?

_Hell to the nope! She's not getting any sympathy from me!_

Moving into my apartment, Kerrie was a fucking ghost!

How the flying fuck---where did that bitch go?

My dad and sister kept coming and going, and then I saw her, plastered to the rear of the futon.

"Hi Mystic," she mouthed to me, clearly ecstatic, as my sister came in with a vacuum.

_Oh fuck._

I pushed the futon further against the wall.

_Hopefully that's what kills her._


	8. Kerrie in the House, Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IT'S TIME TO STOP, OKAY?!?

Finally, _FINALLY,_ we got some wi-fi in the apartment. Now I just had to get rid of Kerrie and everything would be okay. 

Except.......that last bit was easier said than done. 

She was _still_ hanging around, she'd become a leech at this point, and I was considering murder. 

_Would I go to jail for killing someone who time-traveled from the 1970s?_

She was there after the first day, after auditions.

"Did you get cast?" 

"Did you get cast?"

"Did you get cast?"

Like a broken fucking record. 

"Can you _please_ shut the fuck up?"

"What's the matter?" she condescended, peeking over my shoulder.  
"I know you're wondering the same thing."

"Yes, because the list isn't even up yet!"

"Aww! You still sleep with stuffed animals?"

I looked over and I lost my shit. I decked her face in.

"If you so much as _breathe_ on my unicorn Sparkles, I will make sure you never breathe again."

"Oh? That's interesting. Your laptop--"

I rolled my eyes.

"Don't change the subject."

"No, Mystic, I'm being serious."

"Suuuuure," I scoffed.

"No," she said, intrigued.  
"I'm actually being serious. Look at your laptop."

_Okay, just this once, I'll humor you--_

ERROR.

A green heart popped up on the monitor.

**_Hello again, dearie._ **

**_I've missed you._ **

What. The. Fuck?

"Is it another one of your 69,420 girlfriends?" Kerrie asked.  
"Oh, it's Monika."

Wait.

How did Kerrie know Monika?

I grabbed her by the collar and pinned her against the wall.

" _How_ do you know Monika?"

_Hee-hee-hee!_

_It's thanks to her that I'm here again!_

_She found that ship generator and added me in._

I swear Kerrie had a death wish. I slammed her head against the wall.

"Fix this," I hissed.

"Uh-uh-uh," Kerrie scolded.  
"Where's that sweet little girl--?"

Her head practically bounced against the wall as I knocked her back. 

_Oh Mystic. No need to get so cross._

_Aren't you happy we're together again?_

Was Monika _really_ this clueless?

"No!" I exclaimed.  
"Not even a little!"

_Oh? I can change that, you know._

"The hell are you talking about?"

_Well, you see, I want the MC to be devoted to me._

_To be madly in love with me._

_And the more time I spent in computers, the more I learned about how to reprogram people._

_All I'd have to do is bring you into my world and lock the server._

_I'll make you look even cuter and be even sweeter._

_Then it'll be us together._

_For all eternity._

_Just you and I._

If this were anyone else, I wouldn't be too fazed.

But this was Monika. 

I wasn't going to put it past her.

_I'll get that portal to my world open--_

All of a sudden, two portals opened. And the one on the left....was whispering in a vaguely-familiar voice.

_Mystic.....I can keep you safe. Come through my portal, and I will make sure you are never hurt._

Once again, if this were anyone else, I wouldn't be too fazed.

But at this point, Monika was my only other option.

Out of that portal came a glowing, blue crystal.

_If you wish to come to me, take this with you._

Fuck it. What did I have to lose?

I snatched it up.

"Mystic, what are you doing?" Kerrie asked as I grabbed my phone and charger.

I didn't answer. I just hoped and prayed that it would lead to somewhere better.

I jumped in, leaving the clown behind.


	9. Wait, who's here now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mystic rushes into Purgatory and meets some special guests.

Lights flashed, and faded, and I tumbled right out of the portal.

"Whoa-"

Arms caught me, rather strong ones, might I add.

"Hello, dear."

Great. More pet names. I had to adjust my glasses to see who had rescued me. Were they good? Were they bad? I had no fucking clue!

They helped me get to my feet. Getting a better look, they seemed....familiar, but I wasn't sure why.

"Welcome. We have been waiting for you."

"What?"

Of all the things I had expected them to say....

Nah, at this point, with all of the shit that's been happening, that's the usual.

"You said you'd keep me safe," I reiterated.

"I did, yes..."

"And that I would never be hurt..."

"Yes, again."

"So..."

Shit! Were they still there? I fumbled around for my charger and phone.

"Right here."

Oh, there was someone else? That seemed sketchy, but I took them back anyway.

"How exactly do you plan to do that?"

But of course, right before I was about to get an answer, cue a fucking explosion sound.

"What the fuck was that!?"

The two of them frowned.

"....I wonder".

They beckoned for the other to follow, whoever the fuck they were.

"This could get dangerous. If you're going to come along, do it with discretion please."

Discretion? 

Eh. Fuck it. What did I have to lose?

I shrugged and followed the two.

* * *

We traveled for God-knows-how-long until I practically bumped into them when they stopped in a doorway.

“….You should not be out of your exhibit."

Now I knew why the voice sounded familiar.

“I don’t…really have one-“

Wait. That voice--

A hiss from the Collector's companion cut me off.

_Hey. Chill the fuck out, bruh!_

“You were trying to escape," the Collector kept speaking dramatically.  
“Alone?”

“No…I wouldn’t leave without him."

Wait.....it was.....

“-Alice?”

“Huh-“

She sounded surprised. And honestly I was as well.

“Alice, you’re here!?” 

I was in shock, and so was she.

“Mystic?”

“Oh, you know her…”

“Yes!”

That....probably sounded like the wrong thing to say, and we both knew it. Alice and I gave each other a collective glance, one that said

_Run!_

The song by Awolnation played in my mind as we practically naruto-ran into the lounge. I couldn't remember who said what. I was focused on the fact that I might've just doomed myself to an "extended" stay in Purgatory.

“What happened? How did you-!?”

“Kerrie did it-“

“Kerrie-“

“Fortunately, you will not have to deal with her anymore."

Oop. And there was the Collector, as well as her Gorgon sidekick.

“Nor this disobedient runaway."

Disobedient runaway? I glanced at who she was referring to and my heart dropped. I could practically hear Patrick Star screaming WHEE-WHOO WHEE-WHOO WHEE-WHOO! right next to me.

“Wait!”

I skidded in between them, arms out, as if that was some all-powerful magical trick.

“She’s my friend! You said you’d protect me, I need you to protect her, too!!”

“Why should we do that?”

She didn't really seem angry. It was more...curious.

“She fought me," she pointed out.

“Well, can you really blame her!? All we’ve been taught about you is how evil you are!”

The time between my response as hers, I was praying to every fucking deity I could think of that I didn't just fuck this up.

"....I suppose you are right."

Oh sweet Jesus.

"Thank you," I breathed a sigh of relief.

Alice piped up.

"If you're going to protect me, does that mean you'll protect him?"

"Him?" I was confusion.

"Wait-"

"'Him' meaning the elf".

"Yes-"

"Wait, _what!?"_

"If he promises to behave himself. I can't have him destroying this place...more than he has already. Somehow-"

Elf? Did she mean-?

"Envy is here."

"Yeah, but-"

"Well-we have to find him!"

 _Time to work your cuteness, bitch!_ I told myself, turning to the Collector.

"Please? Show us where he is?"

I even added in a little lip quiver, hoping she'd relent.

"Yes. I will show you."

I could breathe again.

"Please follow me to the yard."

And off we were.


	10. Track Prevention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well fuck.

We passed the rock that held Excalibur, that had crowned Colleen king.

The rock where Merlin had been bound, shame Ro never got his autograph.

And then I saw the box.

"Oh my God..." 

He had a fucking shield. I looked at his description:

_The Plant Knight._

"Seemed fitting."

Really? That's all you can say?

"Can you break him out please?"

I wasn't sure which one of us said is, but the Collector obliged.

She flicked her hand, and the case shattered.

I had to yeet myself back as the shimmering, sharp crystals broke.

But what fell out was.....a shell?!?!

Holy fuck!

"Wh-Is he okay!?"

I practically Usain-Bolted over.

"He'll be on his feet soon enough."

I mean, she said that, but HE WASN'T FUCKING MOVING!

"Is this supposed to happen?" 

"Yeah....he'll be fine," Alice reassured me.

Funny. I didn't feel reassured, but then

"....Alice?"

She practically had him in an anaconda grip.

"You're alive-"

"Y....yeah".

I was speechless.

"Welcome back," the Collector said.

You have no idea how many questions I had..

"What _was_ that? What _happened_ to you!? What-"

But my rapid-fire questioning was interrupting by the embodiment of the show _Hoarding: Buried Alive_ if the hoarders were more organized.

"Give me your phone, please."

Did she just...."

"-What?"

She held out her hand.

"Your pursuers may be using it to track you as we speak."

I was silent for a moment.

“Pursuers? You mean-“

How did she--?

“You must hand it over."

My eye twitched for a moment. I didn't want to, but if giving it up meant not being tracked by Digital Yandere and Pennywise's Cousin....

“…Y-yeah. Okay-“

I thought she was just gonna put it in some safe or something, but---

**_CRUNCH!_ **

......

First off how?

That crunching sound bounced around my mind.

“I am sorry. It had to be done."

If I ever get out of this, she better give me money for a new one. But I had more pressing issues at the current moment.

“What if they still find another way in?” 

My anxiety spoke through me.

“They will not. They are afraid of how I might catch them up should they physically arrive here, and there are no other lines of….’data’….they can use to reach you in lieu of that."

“That’s good…”

But was it?

“So….now what?”

“Now, I explain to you the meaning behind my promises."

She motioned for us four to follow, but one question still lingered in my mind.

How badly did I fuck up by choosing this portal?


	11. Do We Really?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Collector promises us going home, but.....

Now she was tap-tap-tapping on the wall.

And then there was a partition opening up.

"Whoa."

Mood, Alice.

It looked like something out of the seventies, but trippier. Especially with these small glittering orbs of light.

_What the fuck are they?_

"These are the Fairy Lights."

It was as if the Collector had read my mind.

"Their magic can keep anyone and anything from harm."

"Like me?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes. Especially you."

I felt this weird sensation as the orbs spiraled around me before they shot up to the ceiling.

"What did that do?"

"It made you impervious to anyone else's influence and intentions. No one can physically or mentally take you away."

"Wow...thank you, but-"

"You are welcome. And do not worry. Your friends, too, shall receive this same protection."

I heard a sneeze, but there was still one question I needed answering.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked.

"Because I read his thoughts while he was becoming my newest exhibit, and I know everything".

"What? You did _what-!?"_

"It is standard procedure."

Damn, she was calm.

Plant Boi? Not so much.

"It's standard procedure to invade peoples' minds-"

This time I was on the Collector's side.

"Hey! If she hadn't, we wouldn't finally be safe...unless-"

My anxiety had entered the group chat.

"There's..no way to negate it, is there?"

"Not unless I say otherwise."

"Well...that's a relief...but-"

"But why would I do this for you?"

"Yeah...it's just...."

I felt myself shift nervously.

"You've never...taken an interest in me before-"

"Let us just say that the Cursed God and I are far from friends."

"Oh."

A little disappointing, but whatever.

"So...now what?"

"Now...I send you all home."

"Home?"

"...Are we still dead?" Alice asked.

Please say no.

"You are not," the Collector confirmed.

Oh thank God!

"What if Kerrie and Monika come for us, though?"

"They will not be able to touch you," she promised.  
"And should they ever try-"

And something blue glowed in my dress pocket.

 _"That_ will bring them straight to me."

* * *

At the edge of her domain, the Collector opened up a portal for us.

“Goodbye, please come again soon."

“Maybe," Alice said.  
“That’d be cool."

I shrugged and looked down, melancholy filling me, but then I had an idea.

“Wait!”

I practically yanked Alice out of the portal.

“Huh-“

We almost toppled onto each other.

“What-“

“What do you mean ‘wait’-"

"This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance!” my eyes sparkled.

“Chance?”

“Yeah!”

Envy was shocked.

“You….want to…!!”

“Wouldn’t it be a good place to explore?”

I was excited. I mean, come on! We were in motherfucking Purgatory! When were we gonna get another chance to see shit like this?

“Explore?”

“Yes!”

“But…don’t you have other things you have to do too?”

I just shrugged. Honestly I didn't care. Even seeing the cast list could wait. This was Purgatory! 

“…Does time freeze here?” Alice wondered.

I whirled to the two Purgatorians for confirmation,

“Time speeds up," the Collector sighed.

Right. The fucking Armageddon clock.

“Oh. Of course it does."

I was crushed, to say the least.

“However."

I perked back up.

“However?”

“Unless it is unlocked, time does not move here."

“What about in the real world, though?”

“I am afraid I do not control it as much as I would like”.

And my face fell again.

“-If you would prefer to spend the night, I can arrange that much for you."

I was doing a lot of looking down and up today.

“Really?”

#PurgatorySleepover?

“Yes, really."

“Don’t you have class the next day, though?” Envy told Alice.

Of course Envy would point _that_ out.

“I do, but you know me. I don’t exactly have the best sleeping schedule”.

“….Yeah, but-“

“None of us have to do anything before noon?” I urged.

“….That’s…true….”

“-Yes. So let’s stay”.

I smiled a little, but I was squealing of excitement on the inside.

“Nobody’s after me right now for once, shouldn’t I get some time to relax?”

“I guess…”

I turned to the Collector.

“I think we’re gonna take you up on that."

The portal slowly shrunk until it closed.

* * *

Damn, if I had my phone on me....

The Collector owed me a new one for sure.

We were in the prehistoric area.

“Nice dino," Alice commented.

“Yeah, I don’t know that one," Envy admitted.

“Me neither."

Of course, me being the Ravenclaw, I had to know. I ran my finger along the toebone.

“Some kind of tiny raptor?”

And that was when I remembered. 

_WAAAAY too soon._

“I’d hope not. This place doesn’t need any more."

I started looking around some more when---

“-What the hell-!??”

“-What’s wrong!??”

Envy pointed the blade he was holding at a mirror.

“-Huh?”

“I-I saw a hand-“

“A what?”

“A hand”.

He was walking to it like it was a radioactive wastebarrel. He gave his reflection a poke

“Whoa-!?”

His sword clattered against the ground.

“Break it break it-“

“Break what-“

An arm shot through the mirror.

“Oh my God!!” someone yelped.  
“What the heck!??”

Envy wrapped his vines around the mirror....

**SHATTER.**


	12. A Horrific Epiphany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is extremely off.

We had to take a moment to collect ourselves. My heart was pounding in my chest.

"What. the fuck. was that?" I exclaimed.

"I don't know," Envy panted.  
"Not exactly. But I think someone was trying to either get out, or get one of us in."

Hearing that my face paled. Was someone already after me? Were they trying to take me away? But if they tried to, the Collector's magic should work, right? I still had my doubts about her, though. Sure, she said we would go home, but......this all seemed too easy. 

"Is she really going to let us go?" I wondered.

"What?" Alice asked.

I took a moment to allow my thoughts to organize themselves.

"The Collector. I don't know if I trust her necessarily."

"She doesn't seem too hostile," Alice pointed out.

I nodded.

"I guess. But did she say anything....odd? Like before I came here?"

"Odd as in.....?"

I took a wild guess.

"I dunno. Some chosen one shit or something?"

Envy perked up.

"Yeah, actually. She said something like....'The Chosen One is not of Purgatory quite yet.' I can't exactly remember the context."

Weird. But I tried to convince myself that she was a good person. I mean, she meant to keep Joey's friends safe by keeping them in the exhibits---

But that was when it hit me.......

Excalibur was gone? Merlin wasn't chained up?

Something was wrong. Extremely wrong.

"Oh God...." I realized.

"Mystic?" Alice asked in concern.  
"Are you--?"

My body went on autopilot, rushing to the lounge. If it was there......

"Holy shit," I whispered.

Sure enough, there it was: the infamous Pandora box, right on the table behind that couch, right where Joey Graceffa had fucked up and gotten himself sucked in. And the safe nearby where both it and the Cosmic Sphere had been stored.....opened. 

"No, it can't be...."

I peeked behind to check the opened safe door. There they were. All nine keys locked in place.

I took a closer look at the design of the box and another fear of mine was all but confirmed. The infamous Cthulu Squidward was on the side. 

"It....is..."

This museum began to feel far more hostile with each piece of evidence I found. Why hadn't I realized it before? My heart was convulsing in a panic.

Two pairs of footsteps ran in.

"Mystic what--?"

But at that moment, Alice seemed to have caught on as well. 

"Why's the box out?" she asked anxiously.

I still didn't want to believe it, but there was one more thing I had to confirm. My body fell back on autopilot and I rushed out of the lounge.

"Mystic!" Alice and Envy called out.

* * *

I had to trace a mental map, following the final four's path. 

_Please don't let it be there. Please don't let it be there._

Maybe this was some other time that this happened. At least.....I hoped.

I neared the pit of blood when my eye fell on the sight.

A mess of old bones. 

My eye also caught sight of the statue.

Cthulu Squidward. 

And then...the paper on the ground. I picked it up and read it to myself.

"'Crimson fires burning bright.  
'Cursed god who.....'"

_Cursed god._

I trailed off, realizing what this was. It was the chant for the 8th key. Had we been lied to? I wasn't quite sure yet. There was one more thing I had to check, and I prayed it wouldn't be there. If it was there, it was the most damning piece of evidence that we were in serious trouble. Looking to my left, I sprinted towards a sandy, grassy area. I searched every square inch, hoping it wouldn't show up. But behind a rock, I kneeled down, and there it was. A string of pearls. Beige heels, a small, navy blue hat.

"No...that couldn't have been...."

And then I saw the thing below it all.

A petite, navy blue dress with white polka dots along with a belt between the blouse and skirt. 

That was when I knew for sure.

"Mystic--!"

Alice and Envy had caught up. 

"Mystic, what are you---?"

She skidded to a halt when she saw the dress.

"That's not---"

"Who else could it have--?"

"But then that means---"

"She shouldn't be--"

"So then how--?"

"Wait, in the lounge, did you see--?"

"In the same pose as when he got stoned," Alice nodded. 

"Oh God...." I squeaked. 

What Envy had said bounced in my mind.

_The Chosen One._

"Wait...what are you trying to say?" Envy asked confused. 

I started power-walking back to the museum, desperate to find a way out.

They caught up with me quickly this time.

"What are you trying to say?" he repeated, the tone in his voice more urgent.

"The Collector was slain in episode 10, right?"

Alice nodded.

"I saw all nine keys in the locks and the door was open. The Pandora box was right where Joey had left it when he got sucked in. Mortimer is a statue in the lounge. Excalibur is gone. Merlin is gone. The Cosmic Sphere is gone. All of this points to us being here after the events of Season 4 Episode 10, so why is she alive? Why does she have a statue and a ritual to the Cursed God? Why is Rosanna Pansino's Socialite attire on the ground near the blood pool?"

It clicked and I could see the panic on his face.

"So what do we--?"

"We need to find a way out--"

"I'm afraid there will not be a way out."

We skidded to a halt. The Collector was making her way towards us with the Egyptian guards and the Gorgon in her wake.

"The Cursed God will be satisfied with this compromise."

My blood boiled. 

"You said we could go home!" I snapped.

"I did," she said calmly as the guards surrounded us.  
"But your homes are in exhibits. Especially for you."

The tip of her staff pointed right at the center of my chest.

_"Chosen one."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.


	13. Another Wedding to Die For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where things get sticky.

We _had_ been lied to. We'd been tricked. We'd been so many other synonyms. 

The point being we were fucked.

"Your power is beyond imaginations. He knows this too, and he is on his way."

_You'd better be joking._

"You said you weren't friends with the Cursed God!" 

"And we aren't. We are far from friends. But we are not far from business acquaintances."

Business acquaintances? What the hell did she-?

"But why did you open that portal if you wanted us to stay here?"

"If I had forced you to stay, you would have just tried to escape. And I had confidence you would reach for a loophole to stay. Your curiosity is all too apparent. Why would you pass up the chance to explore this place yourself?"

She was right. 

"What do you want with me? What do you mean 'chosen one'?"

She gave a small smile. I know it was probably supposed to be a welcoming one, but to me it looked more like a smile that said "I'm about to fuck you over again."

"You are a historic part of the fandom Joey had created. You've bridged the gap between reality and fantasy, and she has also played a part in it."

Pointing to Alice.

"And this is, after all, a museum of historical things."

You better not be saying--

"You are going to become the star attraction."

......

Yeah, I was fucked.

"But....what does the Cursed God have to do with this?"

"As you know, he wants you too."

_Oh, you have no idea how well I know that, lady._

"But if he had his way, you would live with him and I would have no star to showcase. So he and I have come to a compromise. He is coming in his best attire and with a priest. The wedding will take place tonight in the museum, you will stay as a star attraction, and when you relent, he shall come and have you lower the barrier between reality and fantasy. Then you will stay here forever, and he can come and be with you as he wishes."

............

Did I mention just exactly how fucked I was? The answer was _**extremely.**_ Not only was I going to get married to the Cursed God, the Collector had also found a way to get me to lower that barrier. She wasn't going to use force, hypnosis, or magic to make me lower the barrier. She'd found a loophole herself. Keeping me here as long as it would take for me to give in and let them open it.

"As will the elf and his girlfriend."

"Oh....we-we're not--" Envy stammered.

"Not the time," I hissed.

_I'm about to be married to the Cursed God and your biggest concern is how people view your relationship with Alice?_

I had to think of a plan.

"Can I at least have other people at the wedding? I mean, if I'm going to be trapped here forever, I feel like I should at least be able to spend time with others before I do."

She muddled on this.

".....I suppose that would not hurt."

"Can a few of them be those who have had first or second deaths?"

"It takes a lot of effort to resurrect those once dead, let alone twice, however if it means you shall be more cooperative, then I shall. Who do you wish to have at the wedding?"

I had to be crafty about this. Think like a Slytherin would, resourceful and shrewd. I needed people who would help save our asses, but also have a blend of people who would make it seem as though they were just there for the wedding. That meant that people like Jael and Ryu were out of the question. But I knew there were a few in there that would be inconspicuous. And I remembered that a few of the dead, both once and twice, knew how to fight. The biggest dilemma for me, however, were two rather risky ones. One may come in handy, but at the same time could be corrupted. And I knew the Collector hated the other one, but if I promised to make sure they wouldn't try anything, then there was a small chance they could be there. Just in case, however, I decided to suggest them last. 

_Let's just hope I don't fuck this up._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fingers crossed it works.


	14. Beetle-who

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected guest arrives.

I was about to tell her when suddenly.

_**THUD!** _

I know I should've recognized the guy, but somehow it didn't hit me who he was.

“Wh-who are you!??”

"Name's......"

He grumbled something under his breath.

"Does 'IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTT'S SHOWTIME!' ring a bell?"

Beetlejuice?!? What the hell was he doing here?

"And you, are Lydia?”

Probably not the one you're looking for.

“Uh, excuse me-“

“You got what you wanted”.

“I did, yeah….”

Envy was a stammering mess

“Y-you guys don’t exactly have the best timing-“

“I would say that you don’t,"

_Yeah, shit's about to go down._

The bitch leveled up her staff and Beetlejuice.....what the hell was going on?

“Oh-h-h-h-h-this f-f-f-f-f-f-feels w-w-w-weird-“

His eyes rolled in the back of his head. Was she exorcising him? Was he about to have an orgasm? I had no fucking clue, but it needed to be done with.

“No, stop!! _Stop-!!!“_

I panicked, and she stopped.

_Don't smirk at me like this is some sort of a game!_

I could hear him groaning like he got off of a carnival ride.

“Thank you," I huffed.

“……..They will ruin your wedding”.

“Wedding."

Weddings are consensual and require a lot of planning. This was a forced elopement.

“No they won’t," I told her.

“That’s bold of you to assume-“

BJ practically slumped over and the Collector looked less than impressed.

“………………Really?”

I had to stop this before he was fucked too

“Look, you," I hissed to him.  
“It’s either play along, or end up in her exhibits."

He gave me the dirtiest side-eye I ever saw.

“I can stone him if you would like," the Gorgon offered.

“No-well….” 

I mean, that wouldn't have been the worst idea, but still. I gave him the side-eye back

“……I have no idea who this guy is-“

"Stone me, and you will regret it," he growled.

The Collector slammed her staff into the ground.

I wasn't sure what the fuck was going on, but a ring of an earthquake was headed for BJ. It hit him in the chest and he was slammed to the ground.

My first instinct was to check his pulse, but then I remembered that that would be a waste of time.

"What the hell?!?!" I exclaimed to the Collector.

"He was insubordinate."

"He doesn't have to listen to you. He's not one of your exhibits."

That pissed her off.

"Silence! Another word out of your mouth against me, and none of your friends will be coming to the wedding."

I had half a mind to tell her off.....

....but I also had half a mind to shut the fuck up because I _needed_ these people there. I nodded.

"The Bridal Suite shall be in a secret room. Once they have arrived, I shall send your bridesmaids there."

"Even her?"

I wasn't sure if this pissed her off more or if she was just naturally like that. She huffed in resolution.

"Even her, provided she does not do anything to harm anyone."

Well at least that was working out for me. 

"Wait," I gasped.  
"Can we also hang out in the Caribbean Exhibit please? I wanted to see it, but I didn't get the chance."

"That is your own fault."

"I mean, I'm gonna be stuck here in a glass case. Couldn't I at least see more of it?"

Once again she seemed either pissed off or that was just her neutral expression.

"Very well. You will be allowed to explore at your leisure until it is time to get ready for the wedding. You have three hours."

_Trouble comes in 3s._

"And you also promised you would bring.....her too?"

"If it will keep the elf man at ease, then yes."

I could practically hear the confusion radiating off of Envy. 

"Now if you wish to explore, you must go. I shall have my staff begin decorating, and I will summon the guests and bridesmaids."

_Don't need to tell me twice._

And we were off.


	15. The Dread Pirates Strike Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After getting busted for eavesdropping, I attempt to seduce the Dread Pirates to buy us some time.
> 
> Keyword: Attempt.
> 
> (CW: Seduction attempt, some sexy talk, some fat shaming?, gore, heteronormativity)

I knew exactly where I wanted to go. 

Was it the best choice? Probably not.

Was it where someone who reminded me of someone I'd had a crush on for months was? 

Hell yeah.

I took the lead, with Alice following suit and Envy in the back. We snuck past the Greek exhibit and the labyrinth, I swear I could hear the screams of Colleen as she was being crushed, and it sent a chill through my bones. We had to take several twists and turns, avoiding the guards who were decorating for the wedding, (even though they didn't really seem to give a shit if they saw us) until we headed into a brown naval hallway. Once we'd arrived, I held out a hand to stop.

"There it is," I gasped.

The brown door with a diamond window. I had to stand on my toes to take a peek, but I saw them. They were downing a bunch of grog and I already could hear them making out at the end of the hall, so now I had a _great_ view of that.

"Hello, hello, hello," I smirked quietly, trying not to blush at their intense......cuddling.  
"I'd like to steal some of _her_ booty."

"Really?" Envy whispered harshly.

I felt a pull on the back of my dress and I ended up in a group huddle.

"You have 3 hours, 3 hours to do whatever you want, and this is what you wanna do? You wanna flirt with an exhibit? What about a plan of escape?"

"I've made arrangements for that," I assured him.  
"And I'm not just flirting with them. I'm gonna try to seduce them into helping us."

"You? Seduce?"

Envy turned a thousand shades of green.

"D-do I really have to come in with you?"

"I'll need all the help I can get to convince them. For now, I'm just glad they got back to their exhibits in time."

Was it wrong of me to plan to seduce a married woman? Most likely. But would it save our asses from getting stuck in Purgatory, and mine from getting married to the Cursed God? Possibly. I had to take the risk.

"But how are they gonna help us?" Alice asked.  
"And more importantly, _will_ they help us?"

"If I can seduce them---"

"Oy!"

The sharp bark of the co-Dread Pirate turned our heads around, and my heart thumped. 

"I-is it you?" Envy gasped.

"What are ye doin' out here?" Jezebel demanded, pulling out her cutlass and holding it to my throat.

I smirked.

"You know," I purred.  
"There's something so......arousing about a woman who could kill you right then and there."

She smirked.

"See we got one who thinks she can turn the charm on and bring me to me knees."

"You turned me on, love."

I purred and made the cat claws, praying this would work.

I could feel Envy turning another twenty-thousand shades of green.

"How cute," she giggled.  
"Ye really think you can play seductive?"

Then her smile instantly dropped, practically sending shivers down my spine.

"I'm not that easily impressed, ye know?"

_Ehh. I beg to differ if you actually got married to Rorik._

"Darlin', you doin' alright?" 

I could hear Rorik call from the inside, and he sounded _**very**_ inebriated. 

"Got a coupla stragglers who have a death wish."

"Bring 'em in!"

"Wait! We really need your help!" I exclaimed.  
"Please let me explain--"

I still got shoved in. Alice got pushed next to me. Rorik pulled out his cutlass.

"Ye need our help?" he swayed.  
"I think what ye really need is a lesson.....in givin' people privacy. And that lesson......is death!"

It was pretty clear that they weren't going to be willing to help. I had to think up something. I leaned over to my comrade.

"Alice, try to distract Rorik," I whispered.

"How?"

"I dunno? Flirt with him, I guess."

"........"

She turned the brightest red I had ever seen in my life.

"You do realize that that would end in absolute failure. I have as much experience with flirting as a preschooler, aka none."

"Maybe they'll find that funny."

"Yeah, they _really_ seem like they have a sense of humor."

"Being intoxicated makes everything funnier, even death."

"You really want to risk it?"

"If it'll buy us time."

"There's gotta be another way."

"Do you have any other ideas?"

"No, but I really don't want to do this."

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, Alice."

"No! I'm not---"

"Oy!" Rorik slurred.  
"Quit conspirin'!"

"W-we're not conspiring anything," Alice stammered.  
"We were just talking about........"

I could tell she was trailing off. I had to improvise.

"We were just talking about....how sexy you look with that beard."

If looks could kill, with the way Alice was side-eying me, I'd be dead twice over. On the flip side, this seemed to catch him off-guard.

"....My beard? You think it makes me look.....sexy?"

"Oh yeah!" I nodded.  
"100%! Right, Alice?"

"Yeah...." she followed.  
"Really....handsome."

I wasn't sure if he was genuinely flattered or just playing along, but he cracked a smile.

"Really?" he got in close to us.  
"Please go on about.....my sexy beard."

_C'mon Lydia. This is where your improv skills could save you._

"Oh yeah. It's just so.......bushy and.....unkempt. It's....it's really.....arousing. I...I have....dreams about those kinds of beards all the time. Same with that hair. I'm just....getting so turned on right now by how....greasy and.....slick it looks."

My asexuality was cringing, and quite frankly so was I. But I had to keep them distracted.

"And, uh, what about....what about your abs? Can I see those?"

He gave a small chuckle.

"Well, I mean, darlin', you think that'd be alright?"

Jezebel shrugged.

"I mean, if they're gonna die, they might as well get a little action before they do. Pity they're gonna die virgins."

"Yer sure they're virgins?"

Jezebel laughed.

"Am I sure?" 

She pointed to Envy.

"He looks like a tall version of one of the wimpy cabin boys."

And then to Alice.

"She looks like one a the goody two-shoe colonial girls."

And then to me.

"And so does this one. Just from a richer family."

"I wouldn't be surprised if she was from a rich family," Rorik snorted.  
"Look at how round and pale she is. Pity she won't be getting married off. A good man'd make a good wife outta her."

"Ye sure she ain't a vampire?"

"Pretty large fer a vampire, if ye ask me."

_I get it. I'm fat and pale as fuck. Can we please move on?_

But then that gave me an idea. I knew from what I read, some people get turned on by being degraded and humiliated, so I decided to play into that.

"Oh!" I sighed.  
"I just _love_ the way you talk--"

"Shhhhhhh......"

All of a sudden, Jezebel put her finger on my lips and leaned in close.

"Ye ain't foolin' anyone, love," she whispered, smirking.  
"Ye got as much experience as a drunk fledgling."

I pursed my lips.

_Would it be wrong to just make out with her right here and now? I mean, if I'm about to die, I might as well go down making out with a cute girl, you know?_

"But....out of the goodness of my black heart," Rorik smirked as he began unbuttoning his shirt.  
"Before I kill ye, I'll show off my abs fer ye."

And now, a lesson on why you should think before you say shit, courtesy of this dumb-ass bitch, yours truly.

"Actually, can I make out with her instead?" I blurted out, pointing at Jezebel.

Everything went silent. You could practically hear a piece of lint drop. Envy was sweating. Alice was nervous. Jezebel wasn't too shocked, but Rorik was fuming.

"You wanna say that again, wench?"

He whipped out his cutlass, pointing it at my neck.

"I-I-"

"I was gonna give ye the luxury of seein' my abs before ye walk the plank, and instead ye wanna make out with my fiancee! Care te explain yerself?"

I. Was. Fucked. I had stopped playing into heteronormativity and now I was gonna be the first to die. I had to come up with something, and fast.

"Well, you see.....the thing is.....the thing is that---"

"The fing is---"

The door flung open, giving the wall a good kick. There stood another Jezebel, except....she wasn't Jezebel. 

"----Love don't speak 'etero."

The newcomer charged in and practically slammed Jezebel into the wall before bringing the blade across her throat. She dropped to the ground. 

A yell from Rorik as he charged her hardly phased her, and I heard the squelch as she shoved her cutlass through his intestines before kicking him to the ground. She merely flicked the remains off of her blade before approaching me and giving me a kiss on the lips, the most intoxicating thing I'd ever experienced.

"An' neivver do I," said Ivy Flora.


	16. Who's the Rat?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new face arrives, and I don't know if I can trust him.

My biromantic heart was thumping.

“Missed ye, love," Ivy whispered, smiling as she pulled away.

_No, wait. I wasn't done yet!_

“I missed you too…” I gasped.

“You came in just the nick of time," her brother gulped

“Yeah, I saw."

“We’re really glad you’re here," Alice sighed with relief.

I could tell she didn't want to go through with seeing that dude's abs.

“Fank yeh”.

She nodded to the door.

“Let’s get out a this sorry place”.

“Yeh ‘aven’t moved on by now!?”

Her cutlass kept a barrier from whoever she was referring to. 

_This is just one reason I love you._

“Depends? Do I have your attention now?”

“-Who are you talking to?” I asked.

“Some weirdo claimin’ ‘e ain’t BJ”.

“What?”

I had to squint a bit, but yeah, there they were, and the claim that they weren't a ghost surprisingly seemed to check out.

“Oh my God, they’re not a ghost-“

“I told you I’m not."

Green means go eyes turned into red eyes, take warning for a hot second physically, but they stayed red in my mind. Something about this guy seemed......wrong.

“Then who are ye? An’ why are ye lurkin’ ‘ere-“

“Because I know that your…brother? can get you all out”.

_I'm sorry. What?_

“You mean-“

“You’re not the type to forget it, are you?”

I guess he liked to tease his victims?

“H-hey!”

“Don’ pick on ‘im."

“Are you?”

“Does he mean…” Alice wondered

“Yeah, I think he does."

_Uh, hello? I'm still confused here! Someone tell me what's going on please!_

Envy snapped his forefinger and his thumb-

Holy fuck, there was sparks.

“I can open a portal to the Dream World. That’s what he means."

“Open a portal?”

Alice was clearly on board, or at least intrigued, by this proposition.

“You can do that?”

I saw a few shades of green in his face.

“Y-yeah….if I concentrate-“

"Can you do it now-?"

This seemed too good to be true, and something seemed off.

"Wait," I interrupted as Envy was about to snap his fingers.  
"If we just disappear, the Collector will know something's up."

The others seemed to agree, but not enough to put them off from this idea.

"I know somewhere you can put her that she will never escape from-not on her own," the weirdo said.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"And that place is?"

"Sayori's deleted house."

Out of every place possible....that was sketchy.

"And how do you-"

"A few others and I ended up there by some odd coincidence. Your friend wanted to see Lydia in exchange, assuming he ever awakens-"

"BJ?"

"That's the one".

".......You are aware I have my own plan, right?" I growled, pissed off that this fucker was trying to get in the way of my ideas.

"All you rattled off was a telepathic guest list."

"With people who can help us sprinkled throughout."

"Mmhm. Well there's only one here now."

_For now, jackass. For now._

"The Cursed God is supposed to arrive too, did you hear that?"

"Wherever you go, he follows, it was a given."

I guess the dude had a point, but wait a second.....

"Some coding won't hold either of them-" I began.

"Do you know that?"

"No. I think you want Envy to do something else!" I accused.

"-Wait, do you?"

“If BJ stays under in a coma, I was considering your power as an alternative, yes”.

“An alternative to what?”

“An alternative to getting everyone back to where they’re supposed to”.

I still didn't trust this dude.

“Why’d you get dumped there in the first place?” I asked.  
“If people can’t escape, then maybe it’s for a good reason?”

“If it were for a good reason, then why exile Sayori’s bedroom there at all?”

“…..You do have a point," I grumbled.

“So what are we doing?” Alice asked us both.

“First of all, where is…BJ…?” Envy sighed.

“They stuck him with a bunch of carnival rejects."

That made sense.

He motioned for us to follow.

“'Ow do we know yer not workin' wif' _them_ to catch us in the act?” 

Thank God for Ivy having some common sense.

“I don’t betray," he scoffed.

Somewhere in my gut, I had a feeling this was a flat-out lie.

* * *

He was on a makeshift bed, a chain connecting him to the headboard of it all

“Oh geez…”

His ribs had been wrapped with gauze, and his arm was cranked the wrong way. Blood, or an undead version of it, at least, had dripped down his forehead. He looked like a contorted monster.

“That looks bad."

_I mean, that's pretty obvious, Alice._

“He already was in stun from her staff," the dude told us..

“This is why we can’t underestimate either one of them," I sighed.

Envy piped up

“-Uh, is this-?”

I looked up.

Sam, Lucy, the Carnival Master, High Tower, a blue harpy, Calvin the Vampire, even Benjamin’s tall frame fit neatly inside a glass box. 

"Bloody 'ell," Ivy took the words right out of my mouth.

“Yeah, those are the people-monsters she brought back in the last episode…”

“How can she do something so powerful-?" Alice squeaked.

“There’s a reason she and the Cursed God are enemy-rival-whatever-you-want-to-call-it”.

“This isn’t gonna be ye, love," Ivy told me.

“I don’t want this to be you, either," Alice said.

_That makes 3 of us._

“-If you’re done with affirmations, have any next moves?”

I did.

"Yeah. I've got a next move. Prove yourself."


	17. Sands of Time and Trust.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get.....a little worse. And our second wedding guest has arrived.

He just.....stared at me.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You heard me. Prove yourself. Prove to us that we can trust you because I don't know if we can or if we should."

"What do you mean?"

"How the hell did you manage to end up in Sayori's _deleted_ bedroom?"

"I already told you-"

"No, I mean _how?_ There's only one person who has access to _any_ of the deleted Doki Doki files. And right now I'm trying to avoid said person. So there was no way you would have been able to get inside unless she _let_ you in."

His eyes shifted for a second, and that told me what I needed to know.

"That's what I thought. Unless you can prove otherwise-"

"I'm not with--!"

"Then _prove_ it! Your words mean shit if you can't back them up with action."

"I don't know how to prove it to you--!"

"Then figure it out."

I turned and fumed, rushing away.

"Mystic!" Alice called out.

"Love!"

I didn't look back. If my plan didn't work, I was already doomed as it was. I didn't need anyone to betray me. 

* * *

I kept hearing footsteps behind me. Fast ones too. And before I knew it.....

They grabbed ahold of me.

"Lemme go! Lemme go!" I hissed.

"Love," the voice behind me soothed.  
"It's me."

I turned around to see Ivy with a worried look on her face.

"Love, I just wanna know exactly what 'appened that caused ye te run away."

I sighed. If I knew Ivy, and I'm pretty sure I do, I knew she wasn't going to relent until she got the answer out of me.

"I think this guy might be working with Monika."

"Monika?"

I could feel the confusion radiating from Ivy.

"She's a self-aware video game character who's become obsessed with me. I'm scared that if we trust him, he's gonna nab me and take me to her."

"'E said 'e don't betray--"

"But how do we _know_ he doesn't? All he's done is talk."

"Ye got a good point."

I hung my head.

"Am I just being paranoid?"

"I don't fink so," Ivy shrugged.  
"I fink it's natural te be wary a someone new in situations like this."

"I guess.....but now what? I don't wanna go back to them."

Ivy and I thought this over.

"Ye wanna see if some a the ovvers 'ave arrived?"

I shrugged.

"Yeah, okay."

And we walked off.

* * *

We arrived back at the main hub of the museum, and I was shocked.

It'd been, what? 30 minutes, max, since the Collector let us go off on our own, and already this place was decked out. 

"Damn! Did they use magic to decorate?"

"Ooh yes, yes they did! And I helped!"

I turned around to see a man with a white beard and stunna shades.

"How are you doing, fellow youths?"

He dabbed and giggled like a small child.

"Merlin?!?" I exclaimed.

"Yes! I am indeed Merlin!"

"Are you coming to the wedding?"

"Yes, of course! The Collector said it was going to be the biggest wedding of the millennium! I'm just wondering where Jezebel and Rorik are....they were supposed to help cut up some streamers."

Ivy leaned over.

"Should I tell 'im?" she whispered.

"Maybe later."

"Got it."

All of a sudden, I got an idea.

"Say, Merlin. How'd you like to be a bridesmaid for the wedding?"

He looked shocked.

"Bridesmaid? But I can't! I don't have a dress for it."

"I'm sure they'll provide you with something, or maybe one of the other bridesmaids can trim up that robe. You know? Make it look nice."

"Ooh!" he cheered.  
"Then yes, yes I will!"

Ivy and I did a fist bump behind our backs. 

"Why hello there, dearie!" another voice greeted in delight.

Whirling around, I spied her in all of her saccharine attire: the Gingerbread Woman. She was carrying _massive_ amounts of sweets, including huge tier cakes. 

_Damn, does she work out?_

"You must be the bride! Oh, aren't you just cute as a candy button!"

"Uhh, thanks," I mumbled.  
"Whatcha got there?"

"The Collector, well, collected me, and put me in charge of the catering. And so I whipped up a ton of sweets. There's going to be a lot of guests after all. Would you like a bite?"

I noticed that she also had a huge pie.....

I didn't need to have a taste to safely guess what kind of pie it was.

"No thank you."

"Alright, but if you change your mind, come and find me, sweet-pea."

And then she left.

"One of the biggest...." I gulped.

We were in more trouble than I expected.

All of a sudden, I heard footsteps running in.

"There you are!"

It was Alice, Envy, and the guy I didn't trust.

"Mystic, we've been looking for you."

The guy came over and sighed. 

"Look, I know you're scared I'm gonna take you to her, but I honestly don't know how I got there in the first place."

I realized then and there that....I didn't really have a choice. I _had_ to trust this dude, for now.

"Okay, that doesn't matter right now," I exclaimed.  
"We're gonna have more guests than I expected, so we might have to bring in the Society."

"But won't they just stir up suspicion?" Alice asked.

"They're pretty good at hiding, aren't they?"

All of a sudden, we felt a vibration and the hisses of some feral animals wrapped around our eardrums.

"What was that?" Alice panicked.

"Fink I got a good idea," Ivy said, beginning to run off.  
"Follow me."

* * *

Our footsteps barely tapped against the stone stairs Ivy led us down. Alice and I immediately recognized this.

"The Sands of Egypt," we gasped.

"Why are we here?" Envy asked.

"Ain't it obvious?" Ivy smirked.  
"We got a new guest arrivin'."

I was confused for a brief second. But soon I noticed the sand blowing upward, beginning to take shape. First the feet and legs, then torso, then the neck, and finally the head. Sliding down the head was more sand, but as the sand began to fall, I realized that it was hair. Finally it all fell to the ground.

"What the----? How did I get here?" 

Justine Ezarik was back.


	18. The Bad Bitch Duo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple of bad bitches arrive.

All decked out in the outfit she died in, we had ourselves an adventurer, and someone who would make the wedding more of a wedding and less of a plan of attack. 

"Okay, can someone please tell me what's going on?" she asked us.

"You're back in Purgatory," I explained.

"Wait.....who are you? Like I recognize you, but I also don't?"

I blinked.

"Oh, probably a timeline thing," I shrugged.   
"Call me Mystic. This is Alice, Ivy, Envy, and.....some other guy that I don't know the name of."

"Why am I back?"

"The Collector summoned you. I put you on the guest list of my wedding to the Cursed God."

"Wedding?!?!"

"That was kinda my reaction too. I brought you here because we're gonna get a plan of attack together. You're here to make this look more like a wedding. You're basically one of our disguisers."

"You're not, like, having me fight, are you?"

"No, not really."

"Okay, good. Who else is coming?"

"I can't tell you right now. I wanna make this sort of a surprise--"

That was when we felt another vibration, and more hissing. Except this time, we heard the hissing of more than one creature as well as the roar of a beast, but more specifically a dragon....

I smiled as I felt a warmth around me.

"You guys feel that too, right?" Alice asked.

"Yeah," Ivy agreed.

"Wait, what's going on?" Envy shivered despite the warmth.

"I think I know who it is," I exclaimed.

Now I was the one who was rushing off.

* * *

I headed into the Greek exhibit, thank God the Gorgon wasn't there, and skidded to a halt. At that moment, two Chinese men were carrying in a fire-breathing dragon. It blew in a ball of fire, which divided itself into tiny fire snakes that hissed as they traveled along the ground, writing a message.

"Of course _she'd_ have an entrance like that," Envy sighed as he read what the snakes had burnt into the ground.

At the same time, the dragon breathed out a fiery dragon, which also snaked to the ground and spiraled upward. Once it hit the top, it blew another ball of fire and exploded. 

"Duck!" Envy squeaked.

Ivy and I were the only ones who didn't. The Chinese men ran off, the dragon roaring. Standing in the midst of the explosion was the fiery dragun herself carrying a fighting stick.

"I'm back, bitches."

Nikita Dragun.

"Okay, whose ass do I have to kick?" she asked casually when the commotion had died down.

"Hey," I greeted her.  
"Name's Mystic. Long story short, I'm being forced to marry this cursed god. I need you to be not just one of the bridesmaids, but also start some shit so that we can get out of Purgatory."

"Oh honey," she shook her head.  
"Then you called in the right bitch. I can start shit like a wildfire."

"Good, then yer gonna be great fer this," Ivy said.  
"Name's Ivy. I'm also fightin'."

Nikita smirked as she looked at how close together we were.

"Wait, so are you two, like, a thing?"

"I wish," I said without thinking.

Realizing this my eyes widened and I blushed. Nikita giggled.

"Yeah, you're _definitely_ gonna need some bad bitches protecting you--"

Next we felt multiple vibrations and multiple sounds, but the first one we heard was the sound of coins clinking.

"And there's another."

Now she was taking charge.

"Okay, how much running are we gonna have to do?" Justine asked.

"As much as we need to, Justine," Envy sighed.  
"As much as we need to."

* * *

We arrived at Garuda's nest just in time to see jewels, gems, and coins showering from above into the form of a person. 

"I think I know who this is," I smiled.

Sure enough it painted itself over.

"The party's here!"

Bretman Rock had arrived.

"I'm literally made of money, bitches!"

I knew he was a fighter.

"You'll definitely come in handy," I nodded before quickly catching him up on the situation.

"Oh bitch," he whistled.  
"You definitely need help with this one."

"That's why I'm getting as many as I can here."

"Well, should we go check out the rest?" Nikita asked.  
"Don't answer. We're gonna go."

And off we were.


	19. Loophole Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone else has discovered another way to break me.

**(Omniscent POV)**

"What do you mean you never _get_ ideas?" 

The Cursed God was in a major twist of confusion.

"I steal them from other people's minds. By the way, don't you have a wedding to get ready for?"

A smirk appeared.

"Yes.....I do, don't I?"

He turned into his human form, which was honestly kind of hot, like male model hot, and went to his room.

"Collie should've just let _me_ plan the wedding," Kerrie piped up.  
"I've planned a lot of weddings."

"You didn't put that on your resume," his voice was also rather sexy.

"I left a lot of things out of my resume."

"Like professional bride stealer?"

He suddenly turned on her.

"I knew you were trying to wife up my bride."

She just yawned.

"I swing in all directions."

A brush of his hair was all it took to make it look sexy.

"Sally made you some of that perfume shit."

Kerrie held out a heart-shaped bottle. 

Another smirk.

"Excellent. A whiff of this should calm her each time I see her."

"Doesn't it go against the code though?"

"It's not hypnotism."

A snap of the fingers and a suit was on him.

"It's going to become her conditioned reflex around me."


	20. Black Aesthetic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I finally gather the whole team with time to plan.
> 
> ....Or do I?

Once we found everyone, which was more than a few, we were led to the secret room. It was themed around the Medieval Exhibit.

"I've kept it as a surprise attraction," the Collector explained.  
"But tonight it will be your bridal suite."

It honestly wasn't too bad. It was a Guinevere/Morgan Le Fay style chamber, with real dresses. And yes, the Collector was somehow fine with Merlin being a bridesmaid, as well as the bridesmaids helping with the wedding.

That was a phase of the plan out of the way. 

"Okay, so what's the motherfucking tea?" Andrea Russett asked. 

"The tea is mostly what I explained to you when you arrived."

"But you know some of us can't fight," Lauren Riihimaki reminded me.

"I know. Some of you are here for different reasons. For instance, you Lauren can modify our dresses to hide weapons inside of them."

I turned to our petite baker, no longer crushed to death by raptors.

"Ro, Nikita provided the sedatives for you to sneak into the sweets."

Nikita pulled out the bottle.

"Just a drop in each should knock out an elephant."

Ro nodded.

"I can do that."

Nikita pulled out a second bottle.

"I also will druggeth thee wine."

I wasn't sure how to feel about that.

"......Good for you. Anyway; Safiya, Matpat, Eva, Andrea Russett, Matt Haag, Andrea Brooks, Alison, Calliope, you eight are the brains of the operation."

"Just don't expect me to do any fighting or perform an exorcism, and I'm good," Matt H nodded.

"Liza, Tana, Gabbie, Shane, Glozell, Lele, Oli, Tim, Colleen, if things go awry, you need to be the first to distract the other team."

"Oh, this is my time to shine," Liza said, rubbing her hands together.  
"You can count on me."

"I can bring out Miranda," Colleen smirked, pulling out the red lipstick.

"Destorm, Manny, Nikita, Bretman, Alex, Ivy, Jesse......there should be one more."

"You called?"

The power in her voice radiated around the room. She even had her staff. I understood why people had a crush on her.

"Hello, dear," the Sorceress smirked.  
"I decided I'd be fashionably late for this wedding."

".....Right. Anyway, you eight are designated fighters. Alex, I may also need you on the brains' team."

"I can swap whenever you need me to."

"Just don't give him a bow and arrow," Destorm advised.

"Alice, Envy, Alison, Sorceress, Ivy, anyone else with magic, you're our most valuable assets."

They nodded.

"Justine, Sierra, Lauren, Tana, Oli, Alice, Envy, and virtually every single one of you, we all need to be stealthy. If they discover that we're up to something--"

All of a sudden, the Collector came in dragging someone else.

"I found a straggler."

She left us without another word.

"What the hell is going on?"

It was a girl with pale skin, short black hair, black dress, black....almost everything. 

"This doesn't look like the Netherworld."


	21. I Have A Feeling This Isn't The Netherworld

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How the newcomer ended up in Purgatory.

I don't quite remember what happened, only a little.

"Why isn't he coming?"

I just wanted to find my friend.

I kept calling 3 times. But there was no response.

"I'm sure he'll come," I kept telling myself.

All of a sudden, I swear I heard him call _my_ name 3 times.

"What the--?"

The ground below me....was sinking. It felt like a mix of quicksand, tar, and gelatin.

_Mom, are you bringing me to you?_

**_THUD!_ **

It wasn't just me. I heard multiple sounds around....wherever I was. 

All decked out for something.

"What are you doing here?"

It took me a single look up to shoot up.

"Are you here for the wedding?"

Wedding?

"Wait. You're not Juno..."

I knew if I went downward, it must've meant I went to the Netherworld, (albeit rather unconventionally) but today it was much more.....lively.

"I do not know who you speak of. I ask once again. Are you here for the wedding?"

"Is it a good thing if I say yes?"

"It is simply a yes or no question."

"I mean, I guess I am now.

Because I didn't know how to get back.

"Are you a bridesmaid?"

"Sure," I shrugged sarcastically.  
"Why not?"

The woman led me into a strange room filled with strange people. 

"What the hell is going on?" I asked myself.  
"This doesn't look like the Netherworld."

"That's because it's not...."


	22. Plan B for Beetlejuice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And it's a stupid one, Envy.

“….Where the heck am I? Where’s Beetlejuice-“

“Oh my God," Andrea R was.....shook.

“Lydia Deetz!?”

And so was I. But she was shocked that we knew her.

“You know my name?”

“You’re pretty well-known where we’re from…” Rosanna told her.

“Yeah, right."

She rolled her eyes.

“I’m barely relevant in my home life”.

“It may seem that way," I told her.   
“And trust me, I've felt invisible before. If it's any consolation, I, for one, think you’re pretty fucking amazing."

She seemed to kinda believe it.

“Well, could someone please fill me in on what’s going on with this ‘wedding’ occasion, because I sure as hell didn’t come here expecting to be a bridesmaid."

“Oh boy…” Jesse groaned.

“It’s kind-of a long story," Alex piped up.

“I mean, I have time?” she shrugged.  
“Although I’d also appreciate knowing where Beetlejuice is right now, because I'm pretty sure he’s the reason I’m even here in wherever this place is, to start with."

“What!?”

The four of us were shocked.

“He was unconscious, last time we saw him…”

Envy had to break it her while Ivy and I gave each other a panicked look

“Wh-how!??”

Lydia’s eyes almost popped out of her head.

“The Collector hurt him…”

Don't kill the plant messenger.

“He’s chained up now."

Lydia clearly was in disbelief, and I for one could _not_ blame her.

“No way. No, no, only a _Sandworm_ or his mother could stop him, right?"

_Sorry, kid._

But of course, she bounced back pretty quick.

“How do we save him?"

“We have to stop her," I said.

“And how do we do that?“

“I have a plan that you’re gonna want to hear."

Lydia rolled her eyes. 

"This oughta be good."

* * *

We took her down to the glass caravan of carnival rejects.

Yup, he was still there.

“Beetlejuice!?”

“Yes, that’s him," Envy sighed, grabbing his sword.  
“I need you to hold that chain taut."

Lydia pulled it to tension.

“Like this?”

He nodded before taking a moment's worth to be disgusted at BJ's fucked-up foot, raising his sword--

“Please don’t kill my fingers," Lydia added.

“Don’t move, and I won’t."

Lydia gave a shrug like "Fair enough."

He lifted it above his head and brought in down in one slash.

And that was when the electricity crackled through his sword, causing him to tremble. His sword dropped out of his hands.

“Whoa! Are you-!?” Lydia stammered

His eye twitched for a moment.

“……I…..that….was…..”

He coughed, and spit blood.

"Oh my God."

Blood was practically flowing from his mouth. People like Ro were torn between looking away and staring. Lydia was clearly not looking away anytime soon, and I was kinda intrigued as well.

"Whoa! Sick!" she gasped in awe.

Envy wasn't doing so well with it though.

“….Alright," he said thickly before swallowing.  
“New plan."

“New plan?”

New plan? What?

“….We’re stealing her staff."


	23. Exhibit That's-A-Huge-Bitch!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Collector clearly has more planned than she's letting on....
> 
> (CW: Pedophilia mention, child bride/groom mention)

For several moments, no one said anything. I had one thought on my mind and that thought was "What the fuck are you thinking, Envy?"

"Hey, uh, question: DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH?"

His hands went to his ears and he winced.

"No need to yell."

"Envy, how the fuck are we supposed to steal the Collector's staff? She carries that thing with her _everywhere_! Literally everywhere!"

"Okay, I also have a question," Lydia asked.  
"Can you all catch me up to speed on what's going on?"

"Long story," I huffed.

"Like I said, I've got time," she shrugged.

"I don't," I shook my head.  
"In about two or so hours, I'm gonna get married to a cursed entity I accidentally let into the fandom, be stuck in a museum exhibit in Purgatory, and then eventually open a gateway between reality and fiction."

"Exhibit? Is it that big, empty one in the center?"

I blinked. What the hell did she mean---?

"What did you say?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, there was this big exhibit that went all around the museum's center and it took up a few floors."

Big exhibit? But I was just one person. Why would she need such a huge exhibit for one.....?

Oh fuck.....If Lydia was telling the truth......

"Can you show us?"

She nodded, and we went back onto the warfront.

* * *

"It's right...there!"

She pointed to an enclosure that some of the exhibits were diligently working on. It was this medieval castle and going around the first and second floors and seeing that, yes, there was a basement, it seemed like a person could actually fucking live in it.

_Or....multiple._

"We've been yentl'd," I gasped.

"That's not really the word I'd use," Alice shrugged.  
"But my sentiments exactly."

"Yeah, we're fucked," Gabbie nodded.

"How did we miss _that_?" Envy stammered.

"You have to admit, though," I thought aloud.  
"The detail is superb."

"Do you like it?" a voice asked.

_Fuck._

We whirled around and it was her, and indeed she was carrying her staff. I could see Envy preparing to snatch it, but I pressed down on his creeping vine. It was too dangerous to do it now.

"Oh, hey, Not-Juno," Lydia greeted, clearly unimpressed.

Definitely not Juno, Lydia, but probably just as bad, if not worse.

"I was going to wait until after the wedding, but I suppose seeing the wedding present before the wedding is luckier than seeing your husband-to-be before the wedding."

Oh right. _That_ tradition.

"Whoa. That staff," Lydia gasped.  
"That's awesome. But you're still kinda evil for trying to keep Mystic here, and for trapping Beetlejuice.

"So you found him, after all," the Collector smiled.  
"I merely provide a service, and this is a project I have been planning for a while especially for her. She may not always say it, but I know our bride-to-be often wishes to be treated like a princess...."

I felt _so_ attacked at that moment it wasn't even funny.

"And so that is how she shall be treated."

"Treated? Wait....I'm not going to be a statue?"

"What is the use of a statue in a castle worth exploring? This exhibit will allow you to move within the confines of the castle and be comfortable."

"Along with my friends you plan to trap there with me."

"You've caught on quickly, haven't you?"

"But....why me?"

"As I have said, you are a historic part of what Joey Graceffa has created. And you are also quite popular. In this world, people flock to you like a moth to a colorful, beautiful, warm flame. The Cursed God doesn't fall in love with just _any_ girl. She must be one so unique and special that Lydia Waverly's soul would be drawn to her to begin with--"

"We get it! I'm a Mary Sue," I groaned in frustration.

"If you were such, her soul would not be inside of you."

"If you put me in that exhibit, I'll just end up dying, and that wouldn't be good for business."

The Collector chuckled.

"How naive you can be, little one."

_You have no fucking clue how much I resent you right now, lady._

"I am the ruler of Purgatory. And even so, letting a princess die would not be treating her like a princess. That would entail your dining as well. Being treated like a princess also entails a personal entourage of ladies-in-waiting."

Using her magic, she opened a door and three women around my age stepped out and gasped when they saw me.

"It's her!"

"The princess of Purgatory!"

"She's so beautiful!"

I was feeling really uncomfortable at this point. As they continued to fangirl over me, and Ivy and Andrea R would try to tell them off, Envy was trying to shoot a vine to grab the staff.

"Envy!" I whispered harshly grabbing his vine.  
"Stop!"

"If we get the staff, we can free Beetlejuice and go home."

"We'd be running right into the lion's den if you did!"

"I'll be careful."

"She _literally_ has her hands on it. If you try to grab it, it's going to make things worse."

Then those 3 piped up.

"Oh Collector, can we please get her ready for the wedding?"

"Oh yes, can we?"

"Pretty please?"

They always spoke in the same order. It was really fucking creepy!

"Perhaps," the Collector said slowly.

"Wait....she told me she was marrying a cursed entity?" Lydia exclaimed.

"Yup," I shivered.

And Lydia also shivered and I could tell she was remembering back in the musical when she herself had to marry a creepy old guy.

_I can't believe some cultures think this kind of thing's alright._

"You....you honestly think this is a good idea?" Lydia stammered.  
"Marrying a 21 year old off to a thousands-year-old cursed entity? That's almost as bad as an underaged bride or groom."

"She is of age," the Collector argued.

"That doesn't make it any better."

"And this is merely a business transaction. Now you may all continue to explore for another hour or so. I shall come find you when it is time to prepare."

I breathed a sigh of relief and was ready to head back out.

But that was when Envy snapped.

I didn't really see what happened. I could hear the whip of a vine, some exclamations, a bunch of commotion, some people rushing for the exit. When I turned back around, the Collector had Envy subdued against the wall and she put her hand on my shoulder.

"Perhaps I have misjudged your group."

She led me to the exhibit where the ladies were waiting eagerly. Several other exhibits grabbed people like Ro, Ivy, Andrea R, Alice, Merlin, and Lydia.

"You will stay in here with your bridesmaids until it is time for the ceremony. These will also be some of the friends who will stay with you in your exhibit."

I could tell that shocked Lydia to the core.

"Wait....you're keeping _me_ too?"

The Collector stared at her and came close.

"Why would I let someone so....strange and unusual escape my grasp?"

She used her own fucking words against her!

As the exhibit glass shut us in, and the other half of the group was led out, I glared at Envy, sending him a clear message.

_Fix this._


	24. Double Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (CW: Homophobia, reference to a pedophilia moment.)

**_BANG!_ **

**_BANG!_ **

**_BANG!_ **

I could feel the pain radiate through my fists as tears formed in my eyes. I always felt I was just one fist away from freedom.

"Open. Up. Dammit!"

I kicked and groaned at the glass. 

"Mystic, stop," Alice sighed.  
"We'll be fine. We just have to wait for the others to rescue us."

What?

"Wait for the--?! Alice, you know what's at stake here, right? I'll have my mind broken and be married to some....creepy old guy! That's not okay!"

"Yeah, I can attest to that," Lydia nodded, shuddering.  
"I've been in her shoes, and....I had to flirt with him a bit."

The others looked at her like she was insane.

"It was a green card thing," we both sighed in unison. 

"That don't make it much better," Ivy said as she sharpened her cutlass.

_No shit._

"Well, even if it fails, you're not gonna be in this alone," Alice reassured.  
"You'll have us to keep you sane."

"Hmm. Let's see.....wait for them to save us, during which time the wedding could happen, or take initiative and be a badass bitch? I'll take the latter."

"It's time for your dress fittings!" one of the ladies squealed.

Merlin gasped and squealed.

"Oh! I want a nice purple one!"

He eagerly followed them into the next room, and Lydia rolled her eyes as we tagged behind.

"I'm just saying. I have faith in them," Alice whispered as we entered.

"Well, I don't," I sniffed.  
"I hate to break it to you, but one of them out _there_ is the reason we're even in _here._ "

"He has good intentions--"

"Intention doesn't always equal effect. If he wanted to steal her staff, he should've waited and relied more on stealth than sudden attacks!"

"He still has a chance."

" _One chance._ That's not enough! Alice, this isn't like you. You really wanna rely on your boyfriend like this?"

Her cheeks turned a bright red.

"H-he's not my boyfriend," she mumbled.

"Awwwww!" one of the ladies squealed.  
"Sooooo adorbs!"

_Kotoko Utsugi who?_

"She misses her boyfriend and now she's blushing. How sweet!"

Add on twenty more shades of red.

"How sweet, indeed!"

One of the ladies pinched her cheeks, thankfully her face, but she slapped their hand away. The lady shrugged and got back to organizing and distributing the dresses.

"Whatever," I sighed.  
"The point is, that's all I've done in these timelines: rely on others to rescue me. It's time I took matters into my own hands."

"But you have--"

"What are you doing?!?!"

The second lady tried to steal back the dress Lydia was holding.

"It was made exactly for you!"

"It's pink," Lydia huffed.  
"Bright pink. It burrows into my eyes."

"Well then what color do you want?"

Lydia blinked and furrowed her brows in confusion.

"Black," she said.

"Black's a funeral color."

"I'm in mourning."

In her signature flat tone. And I, too, was mourning. 

"No one's died."

"I'm in perpetual mourning."

Mood.

"That's far too morbid for someone your age. Don't you ever think about things like makeup or boys?"

"Yeah, I think about how to use eye shadow and lipstick to highlight the shadows of the ghosts of the past on my face and about how boys are disgusting."

"That'll change when you're older."

"I'm a teen."

"Everyone blooms at a different time. You'll have your first crush soon--"

"My first crushes were on Sylvia Plath, Mary Shelley, and the sweet release of death."

The woman seemed taken aback, but she tried to shake it off.

"Wear something brighter. Something celebratory."

The woman's face lit up and pulled out a bright yellow dress.

"Here. This is something that says 'I'm friendly, approachable, and only think about death a normal amount.'"

_Seems like Delia Deetz has entered the chat._

I saw Lydia tense up in her fists, and I couldn't blame her. That dress was the _brightest_ of yellows. It hurt my eyes.

"Wow," Lydia said sardonically.  
"Where have I heard that one before?"

"Honestly, she's onto something with wearing black to _this_ wedding," I snarked.

This made the three of them practically scream.

"But you're getting married to the best bachelor in existence," the first gasped.

"If he's so great, then why don't _you_ marry him instead?"

"But he loves _you_!"

"Well, the feeling isn't mutual."

"You'll change your mind."

"Nope."

"I'm sure you will!"

"And I know I won't."

"He's a nice man."

That was when I remembered back to like a minute ago. I smirked, and gave Ivy a look. She smiled back and gave a nod before my vision came back to the pleading lady.

"Well, guess what, doll? I don't swing just that way."

I strolled over to Ivy.

"Matter of fact, I'm starting to feel like I'm swinging solely the other way."

"Wha...what are you doing?" all three gasped in unison.

"What's the matter?" I asked teasingly.  
"A little love never hurt anyone."

"You...you can love _him_

"That's....that's not natural," the first stammered.

"Lotsa tings ain't natural, sweetheart," I said, starting to implement a Brooklyn dialect, because why the fuck not?  
"Glasses ain't natural, but no one's told me I can't wear dem. Clodin' ain't natural, butcha'd get yuhself arrested if yous go out in da nude. And puttin' a goil and her friends in an exhibit, displayin' dem like animals at da zoo definitely ain't natural."

I pulled Ivy into a kiss.

I could hear 3 bodies collapsing.

"Okay, that was fun. So how do we get out---?"

but I also heard a scream from Ro.

"Are you okay?"

"It's.......it's....."

I peeked in and my face blanched.

"Oh no."

A red-haired woman and a clown carrying the Collector's Staff had managed to enter into the exhibit, meaning that the Cursed God wasn't too far behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!


	25. Rescue Mission

How....what....when....?

As Manny would've said.....oh bitch.

"Found you!” Kerrie taunted, joyfully waving the staff at the glass wall enclosing us.

She then basically began naruto-running for me.

“No way!”

I reached out for it.

“Love!!”

_Thanks for your concern, Ivy, but--_

And there went the ceiling.

“Time to bounce-!!” Merlin yelped.

_Not me._

“Mystic!” Ro sounded concerned.

“GO!!” I snapped.

“But-“

“Ro, _GO!!_ All of you-“

But then a dark red light and.....

Well, what did a Disney movie and us have in common?

We were both Frozen.

“I can’t move-“ Alice said.

She tried to sound calm, but I could tell she was as panicky as I was.

“Let us go!!” Andrea R. yelled.

“….I don’t think so," Cecelia scolded, tapping the Sorceress' staff.

Wait, the Sorceress' staff?!

“How did you get that?” Lydia asked.

“We stole them," Kerrie shrugged.

“….But how-?“

“She’s Kerrie," I sighed.  
“I've just learned not to question”.

“Quite right, dearie."

Oh God.....

“Never say that again!!”

I gave her a good elbow to her sternum.

“Oooofffff-“

Exactly like a slow version of the ROBLOX death sound.

But she didn't move much.

“Aha! Can’t overbalance me~“

I did it harder. Nada.

“Oh come on-“

I was tumbled over and behind her with the staff.

Just in time to do an eye-lock with a certain cursed Hypnotist.

Well, fuck.

“Do you _ever_ give up!?” I groaned.

“No," she answered.

“….Yeah, I didn’t think so."

I was so fucking terrified she was gonna hypnotize me.

Cecelia was yeeted halfway across the exhibit, and smacked off of the dinosaur statue.

“——!!??”

“Cecelia!??”

“Whoops-“ Kerrie gawped.

“…..Nice...aptitude…you have….”

I could tell she was still shook as she lifted herself to her feet-

“What…but….!??”

She was, to say the least, le confusion.

“Why didn’t you….!?”

Limping.

“Why would I?”

She held up the staff-

Which was now practically shattered.

“I don’t want to hurt you…..”

“You don’t!?”

“Watch out, she might be lying!!” Andrea R. warned.

_Yeah, no shit._

“You froze my friends!”

“Because they would have attacked us when we came here with no ill will."

“We don’t?”

Kerrie received the death glare-

“Our Master sent us to check up on you. The trust in this deal is so frightfully fragile-“

“He did, did he?"

“Yes. He did."

"....Okay then."

I had to pretend Patrick _wasn't_ running around in my head going "WEE-WOO, WEE-WOO, WEE-WOO!"

"You've checked up on us. Now leave".

"Without us?"

Kerrie sounded heartbroken...

I couldn't give two fucks.

"....Of course."

Cecelia stuck an arm firmly about the joker's body, and hauled her away.

 _"We're STILL frozen_ -!!" I yelled out.

One wave. And we were no longer like the Disney movie.

".....Ye red-'aired cunt!!"

_Couldn't have said it better myself._

"That was odd," Ro said.

"Yeah".

Alice rubbed her neck-

"I don't like this......."

I had so many fucking questions, but no time.

"They're probably just trying to slip into my good books so I'll fall in love with _him_ easier," I shivered.

"Yeah," Andrea R. agreed.

"Let us 'get lost' as they say, before the Collector loses her shizzle!" Merlin added, dabbing.

"Don't need to tell _me_ twice," Lydia muttered

"........How did you guys escape?"

Whoa, okay, you guys appeared right the fuck out of nowhere!

"Envy!!" Alice exclaimed.

She ran over to hug him-

"Hey there-"

He saw the staff.

"How did you-"

Everyone else stared at him.

".....Bit late, aren't you?" Andrea R. scoffed.

"Had to sneak out of the 'Before' party first".

"Good fing yer 'ere now".

Ivy motioned for him to join the rest.

"Yeah."

"-Just don't do anything _else_ stupid," Lydia cut in.

"We have to be _careful,_ " I added with extra emphasis, just so it could get into his brain.

"I know-"

Merlin made the 'I'm-watching-you' gesture with his fingers.

"....Is that necessary?"

"When it comes to _you,_ it might not be enough," I mumbled to myself.


	26. Trouble A-Foot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoo, so much trouble a-foot.

We had to be extra careful at this point, far more than I emphasized to Envy. Now that we knew CG was likely here, unless we could figure out an escape within the next hour, it wouldn't be long before I was back to being coddled in that exhibit with a ring on my finger. On top of that, now that the Collector was on high alert, every monster and antagonist from all of the seasons, save for the former Jezebel and Rorik, was also on their guard. We just narrowly escaped being caught by Calvin, much to Envy's intense relief, before hiding in the Minotaur's Labyrinth. However I managed to get a glimpse to my left, and I saw the altar. A venue, dressed all in white, the color of purity-of innocence-dropped a lump into my throat. I was just about ready to have an anxiety attack, as I felt the leaves of the labyrinth on my back while I sat on the grass trying not to burst into tears right then and there, (where's that Klonopin when you need it the most?) but almost immediately, I felt a soft, warm hand on my back.

"We're not gonna let that 'appen te ye, love," Ivy whispered to me as she rubbed my back comfortingly.  
"I'll be damned if I let 'im even touch yer finger."

"The Collector would probably end you if you tried to stop this," I sniffled.

"Vee can attest te my persistence. I won't stop 'til yer safe."

"I don't doubt that, love, but I also don't doubt that if someone gets in the way of the Collector, it doesn't end well for them."

"We'll just have to do what we can to get you out," Ro said.

"I really appreciate that, but I'm worried that that's not gonna be enough," I sighed.  
"Both CG and the Collector are powerful. The only difference is that one of them is actually a competent villain. But that still spells trouble for us. Plus we can't keep hiding from her forever."

"I know, but we can try. If we can't kill the Cursed God, we could prob'ly kill some a 'is minions."

"But how, let alone how can we do that in under an hour and still esca--?"

"Shh!" Envy exclaimed in fright.  
"Get down!"

We ducked as we heard two people making conversation. 

"You know I don't like you."

It was CG.

"You have made that very clear to me, yes. I do not particularly like you either, of course."

 _AND_ the Collector.

"So remind me why I'm letting you keep her?"

"Because it shall satisfy us both."

"And the residuals?"

"Yes, you shall be getting a quarter of the sales made off of her exhibit."

"Not of the whole museum?"

"I shall be separating her off eventually, as I know she shall draw in many people. She shall have a different exhibit in due time. While I work on that, you shall receive 6.5% of the museum's general admissions. Now what is that you have on that I can smell so strongly?"

"Just some perfume."

"I can tell by your face it is more than just."

"You caught me. It's a calming agent. I'm gonna wear this each time I see her. Eventually she'll associate me with positive feelings. She'll never want to go anywhere without me."

I really had to utilize every ounce of willpower I had to keep myself from screaming. So he had also found a loophole! This was bad, to say the very fucking least.

"Where is she, by the way?" he asked.

"Now, now, you know all too well that it is bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. And I wish for this marriage to go off without a hitch."

"You really see this as nothing more than a business transaction, do you?"

"Well, if she does not agree to marry you, she still cannot escape purgatory. But as it will keep both parties happy, I wish for this to go well."

We heard them walk away.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" I whimpered.  
"I'm fucked!"

"We're not gonna let that happen to you," Andrea R promised.  
"Not on our fucking watch."

"But how?" Alice asked.  
"We can't get the Collector's staff, the Sorceress' staff is split in two, what can we do now?"

"You can trust me."

I didn't wanna look up, but I knew that voice. I just wanted to confirm it was her. So I did for a brief moment, and it was: Cecelia Annesley.


	27. Trust Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have quite a few of them.

If I thought I was fucked before, I felt like I was _really_ fucked now. This was a master hypnotist. One snap of her fingers or a single glance in her eyes and I'd be even more screwed.

“Trust you!?” Envy was dubious, and I didn't fucking blame him.  
“You’re his _Right Hand!!”_

“Yes," she admitted, turning to me.  
“But I just can’t bear the way he thinks he can own you!”

That tone sounded weirdly maternal and caring. I was going to let down my guard, but her red eyes flashed and I was back on edge again,

“Yeah, except how do I know you don’t want me for yourself, too?” I asked.

“….I only desire for you to be happy."

_Okay, that sounds fake, but okay._

“You do?” Ro asked.

The hypnotist nodded.

“And I can help you out of this unfortunate situation."

“How?” I could tell Alice wasn't convinced, so she was at least 99% of us.

“I know where your other friends are-I even know where Beetlejuice is being held."

“-Where!?”

Lydia forcefully grabbed her collar. I could tell she was desperate to get him back.

“There’s no need for that," Cecelia assured her as she pointed back toward the Museum.  
“I can guide you right to them, no strings attached."

“-Where have I heard _that_ before?” I muttered, rolling my eyes.

“Unlike the Collector, I actually mean it."

“Do you?” Andrea R. tapped her foot.  
“For all we know, you could be lying to us just like her."

“-If I _were_ a liar," Cecelia began.  
“Would I have helped you all escape from the Castle?”

“Ye mighta done it te earn the Cursed God some Brownie Points!” Ivy accused.

“True…..but that’s not why I’m doing this now."

“Hmm…..” Merlin squinted.  
"Will you betray us at that last minute? Because that would not be gucci-"

"Not at all."

Envy was probably the least likely of us to believe her.

"You say that, but-"

"I am your best chance for freedom," she argued.  
"I can even show you a way out of here."

"You can!?" 

Ro was floored-

"I can."

And then, she turned to me.

"But in the end, whether you accept my help or not, that is ultimately up to you."

This was up to me?

"Wait....me? Just me? No one else?"

"Darling, you're the one who stands to lose the most in this situation. Of course it should be _your_ decision."

I had a bad feeling about this. I needed to know _exactly_ what I was going to get myself in to.

"What are you getting out of this?"

"There's no need to be so suspicious of me. I merely wish for you to be happy."

"I'm just trying to cover all of what I feel I should know about this."

Cecelia nodded, and I continued.

"What makes _you_ the best chance for our freedom?"

"Because I can sneak you past the Cursed God, the Collector, and the other monsters under the guise of watching over you until the wedding."

That was a fair point. 

"Why are you so keen on seeing me happy?"

"I've told you; I can't bear the thought of him thinking he owns you."

"But what does that matter to you? You've been his right hand for so long, giving zero fucks about those you hypnotize to....I dunno, kill themselves or something, not caring if someone suffered at his or your hands, and then one day you just up and do a heel-face turn? All of a sudden, you're claiming you want to help me. Would you do the same for anyone else who was in my shoes, or is there something that makes me a special case?"

"Curious one, aren't you?"

"Just answer the question."

I was getting more and more frustrated by the moment. I wanted to see if she was trustworthy, I really did. There was a small chance that, maybe, she truly cared about my happiness. But she wasn't exactly giving me a reason to believe her.

"Well, to speak with perfect candor, Mystic, your persistence and hope ~~Nagito Komaeda has entered the chat.~~ has shifted my focus away from helping him marry you. He's been after you for nearly a year and a half, much longer than most of our targets, and each time, you've evaded or refused to give into him, and that's something I admire about you. You don't deserve to be miserable, and all I wish is to assure you get home safe and sound."

Huh. This was a tough call. On one hand, she'd been working to lure me to him for over a year. On the other hand, she sounded sincere about this. I knew there was only one way to know for sure, and yet because of her skills, it was also the stupidest idea ever: asking her to say it while looking me in the eyes.

So how the hell was I supposed to call this one? 

_I guess I have to go with my gut._

"Okay, I'll accept your help. But we _will_ be keeping a close watch on you. All things considered, it's only fair."

Cecelia smiled kindly.

"I can work with that."

"So where is Beetlejuice?" Lydia asked impatiently.

Cecelia pursed her lips.

"That's the trouble. He's being kept somewhere I'm afraid the Cursed God might return to if we're not careful."

"And where's that?" Alice asked, narrowing her eyes.

The hypnotist gulped.

"His groom chamber."


	28. Right Into the Lion's Den

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cecelia's leading us into the danger zone.

I couldn't believe I'd agreed to this.

If you told me about a year ago that Cecelia Annesley and I would one day work together, I would've just laughed in your face. And yet, here I was with my friends, a weird demon creature, Merlin, _and_ my girlfriend, all of us being led into a danger zone by her.

The hypnotist opened the door quietly, and flipped on a light. She looked around to assure we were alone, and nodded for us to come inside.

"Damn," Tim exclaimed as we stepped in.  
"I didn't know he was into all this Broadway/1920s shit."

It _did_ look like that, all except for a strange shadowy corner, which....something seemed off about it, aside from the light not revealing it.

"He may be a fuckboy," Gabbie sighed.  
"But he _does_ have decent taste. You know, when it's not all.....creepy and dark and shit."

The corner in the room begged to differ. 

"There should also be a spell that can free Candy Pop from a distance in here," she told us.

All of a sudden, three piano notes began to play. All Gs. I had no clue what it was.

 _Certainly not the beginning of_ _"Welcome to the Black Parade."_

"Did...did you hear that?" I asked.

"Y-yeah," Alice gulped.

Looking at each other, I could tell we both had a bad feeling about this. Meanwhile I heard Cecelia take a jar off some sort of shelf.

"Beetlejuice!" 

Lydia sounded relieved and ecstatic.

"Lydia!" Beetlejuice exclaimed.  
"Oh thank Katherine Hepburn, you're okay!"

_Zap!_

A sound from that dark corner, and then those notes, along with a few extras. I barely heard Cecelia mutter some sort of spell as the song played a full verse. Then a set of lyrics came to my head, as the melody because distorted.

 _"Everyday,"_ I sang.  
_"I imagine a future where I can be with you."_

That was when it hit me. I looked over at Alice as the shadow drew closer. We both knew _exactly_ what this was.

 _"In my hand,"_ we sang in fear.  
_"Is a pen that will write a poem of me and you....."_

**_"H E L L O A G A I N , D A R L I N G."_ **

Someone gasped and then I felt someone grab my shoulder

"I'm so sorry, dear," a whisper and then a snap of the fingers.  
"Sleep, Mystic."

And....well, you know what happened.


	29. Sympathy for the Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Broken being me.
> 
> (CW: Strained family relationship mentions, suicide/suicidal ideation, self-harm)

**Cecelia's POV:**

I gasped as I saw the shadow advance. The ace of the Cursed God. How in the world did she end up in Purgatory? I didn't have time to ask her any questions, though. My mission was to protect Mystic. I pushed the others out of the way and grabbed her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, dear," I whispered to her ruefully as I snapped my fingers.  
"Sleep, Mystic."

Her eyes fell shut as a certain demon came running inside. I held steady to her.

"You tricked us!" Alice gasped.

"No, I promise I didn't!" I exclaimed as the ace drew nearer.

"You are not gucci!" Merlin yelled.

With a wave of my hand in a quick spiral, I formed a portal.

"I'm going to take her somewhere safe," I told them quickly.  
"I'll open a second portal for you all as soon as we're through this one. If I leave this open for too long, the ace will catch us!"

I jumped through with Mystic before shutting the portal. I had to take a moment to catch my breath. 

"Now one for the others."

For safety reasons, I summoned one far away. If the ace followed, it would give them time to evade her. But just in case, I opened a third that would suck the ace inside somewhere else. On top of that, it would give me some time to gain Mystic's trust. Once I could tell they'd all made it through, I shut the portals.

I carried her up the hill to my house. Rather secluded, overlooking a cliff by the sea, it wasn't much when I first bought it, but with a bit of magic, I made it more into my liking. Opening the door, I smiled as the familiarity of my home enveloped me. I carried her to the spare bedroom and, with a wave of my hand, decorated it to her liking, which included her laptop and an uncrushed version of her cellular phone. 

I tucked her into bed, placing a stuffed unicorn into her arms. A small smile spread across her face, and it made my heart melt. How she could go through hell and back and still have hope was beyond me. But then I began to wonder: how _much_ hell has she gone through?

I waved my hand over her computer, bypassing the login, and various applications popped up. One of her blogs, a fanfiction account, notes, some games. I decided to check the fanfiction. One of them caught my eye; it was a compilation of poetry, which according to her, was mostly "Very Fucking Dark."

_The world is quiet here._

As I looked through them, my heart sank. All of these emotions appearing in such succinct, yet wonderfully-crafted poems: she wasn't joking. So many of them were dark. Talks of depression, feeling invisible and unheard, suicidal ideation, self-harm, feeling like she'd never be enough, feeling ugly, feeling like a burden, a monster. 

I could feel a tear roll down my face as well as more welling up in my eyes. Perhaps her blogs would be better.

It wasn't exactly better. The one that stood out had talks of strained relations with her family, ableism, feeling inferior, suicidal.

"Is this why she's created these stories?"

I shut off the computer and look over to her. She looked much calmer, but I could tell she was suffering. I had to do something.

"Mystic, my Mystic," I sighed, another tear falling down my face.  
"Do not worry. I won't let any of that happen."

I gently moved a strand of rogue hair out of her face.

"Not as long as you're under my care."


	30. Cecelia? I Have a Feeling I'm Not in Purgatory Anymore

I felt myself coming from the blackness of night.

Snatches of red between dark and the light.

"Where….am I….?"

I opened my eyes like butterflies.

I saw that Purgatory was no more for me.

“H-huh-!??”

“Mystic, it’s only me," a voice soothed, Cecelia's  
“You’re in my house…and you’re safe….and I made it so the Ace cannot find us."

“The…what!?”

"The Ace," she sighed.

_The Asexual?_

“I should have realized the second I saw that shadow: he’d brought his Spy over with him."

“The Traitor-!??” I panicked.

“No."

She shook her head.

“I wish it was….then we’d know how to stop them”.

“But-“

I tried to sit up, but Cecelia gently pushed me back down.

“How is the Ace different from everyone else we’ve ever faced?”

“We don’t know who they are, or even where they came from."

_Well, if what I experienced was true, I may have clarity as to whom the Ace is._

“He didn’t tell you?”

“He wanted to keep it on the down low."

_Keep it a secret even from his right hand?_

“But….why?”

“They aren’t called the ‘Ace’ without reason-“

I was about to respond when I heard the clink of a tea cup.

“Huh-?"

"I brought you some tea."

Tea?

“You didn’t have to-“

“It’s peppermint."

......Yeah, I ended up taking a cup, but that didn't mean I'd lost focus on my primary concern.

"Where are my friends?"

"I sent them a ways away from here in case they were followed".

"How long will it take them to get here-"

"I don't know."

I frowned.

_Cecelia, you really should be a bit more confident about this shit._

"Look, I know you helped us out of danger and all, but what if someone or something tries to go after them?"

"They have Merlin, weapons, and various plants on their side. They'll do fine."

"What about everyone left behind at the Museum-"

"I can try to get a read on them later-"

"Why not now?"

Cecelia smiled at me in this strangely maternal way.

"Because you just woke up, and I wanted to see how you were."

".....Okay, but-"

"It means a lot that you trust me."

"....I almost didn't."

"But you do now."

I mean, what am I supposed to say?

This situation is weird as fuck. At this point, Cecelia might as well adopt me or some shit.

"I also made some cookies."

"What kind-"

"Chocolate chip. In chocolate sauce".

A tiny bit excessive in chocolate, but nonetheless, my mouth watered.

".....May I please have some?"

And she pulled a plate from out of fucking nowhere. Hesitantly I took one and bit into it. Oh. My. God. It was like something out of an anime.

"Wow!"

"Do you like it?"

"Like it?"

_Do I **like** it?_

I took a second bite.

"What's your secret?" I asked eagerly.  
"Have you been watching Ro's baking show-"

"Hm?"

"Nerdy Nummies," I explained.  
"Do you watch it?"

"......Ro has a baking show?"

_Lady, how the fuck do you not know?!_

"You've got to watch it."

".........Maybe I will."

We spent a few more moments together, talking, listening, sitting in silence, humming a bit, overall just enjoying each other's company. It was so surreal. In other timelines, I despised Cecelia. She was the Cursed God's most trusted-his right hand-and one of our biggest adversaries. And yet here we were, spending time together, like mother and daughter. And as someone who doesn't have the best relationship with her own mother, it was a wonderful feeling, one I wished I could feel more often. But soon we were out of cookies and tea.

"So now what?"

"I can show you around-"

That was odd.

"You're not gonna make me sleep more?"

"You're not injured, or sick."

That was a first.

"Okay, but-this is gonna take some getting used to-"

"It's quite alright, I understand."

As I got out of bed, I looked around the room.

"It's really weird....you set this up for me."

She nodded.

"While you were asleep."

But then.....that one particular fear settled in.

"Wha...what about the Cursed God? Or the Collector?"

Panic settled into every cell of my body, but not a few seconds later, I felt Cecelia's arms around me, rubbing my back.

"Shhhh, it'll be alright, darling," she assured me softly.  
"I've made sure they'll never find us. Only your friends will be able to find us."

I gulped.

"I....I'm sorry if I'm finding that a tiny bit difficult to believe."

"It's alright, I understand. Would you like to be shown around later?"

I nodded as she pulled away.

"I'll go set up for supper."

Hearing this, I panicked.

"Please," I whimpered.  
"I don't want to be left alone."

I looked up at Cecelia through my eyes, she gave me a soft smile.

"Would you like to lie on the couch in the living room? It has an open connection to the kitchen."

I nodded.

She took my hand

and we went downstairs.


	31. Time to Split

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few people decide to set off.

**Lydia's POV:**

I could tell that Ivy was beginning to get incredibly impatient.

"We can't stay 'ere any longer!"

Or maybe that was because she reminded us of it every 5 minutes. "Us" was currently myself, Rosanna, Andrea Russett, Safiya, and Matthew Patrick. BJ would be here, but he and that other demon were currently out somewhere, probably at an orgy, getting drunk, scaring people, or some ungodly combination of the three. Aside from him, I'd kinda formed a kinship with these five, mostly with Ivy and Andrea R. Due to Ivy's skills, we had a fire going out tonight, and they were going easy on the alcohol.

"We know," Andrea sighed before taking another sip of Rosé around the crackling fire.  
"But what the fuck are we supposed to do? Most of the others wanna stay and explore the taverns and wherever the best hangouts are here, those two demons are doing fuck-knows-what, Calliope and Alison are investigating every square inch of the place, and Alice and Envy are playing lovebirds."

Ivy spat out her.....she called it "grog," I think, in shock.

"Vee an' Alice're what?" 

"You didn't notice? They were going off in private."

"Probably to get a little action," I smirked, folding my arms.

"Nah," Ivy shook her head.  
"Vee's not that kind a guy."

"Well, we can't just leave them here," Ro said.

"But I can't let Love stay wif Cecelia any longer! What if she's brainwashed 'er?"

"Would she actually?" I asked, still not really caught up on this whole thing.

"I wouldn't exactly put it past her," Saf shrugged.  
"She's this.....master hypnotist. Never seen it myself, she's never really taken an interest in hypnotizing me."

"Damn. She seems nice, though."

"Appearances can be deceiving."

"Well then, why don't we just....I dunno....find her ourselves?"

"I can't leave the rest of them behind," Ro argued.

"Same," Saf said.

"I'd like to find her," Andrea sighed.  
"But we don't know where we are."

"I wish," Ivy said.  
"But I'm payin' the inn bill."

"The inn tuition," Matpat smirked.

I shook my head.

"Well, you know what my inn-tuition is telling me?" I huffed.  
"It's telling me that we need to find her, and soon. This....Cursed God and Not-Juno are still after her, along with that shadow and creepy clown. I'm not letting her get taken by them!"

I hopped out of my seat and ran out into the woods.

"Lydia!" they called out. 

I didn't bother stopping. 

After several minutes, I heard two pairs of footsteps.

"What the--?"

"Shh! Pipe down, kid!"

Andrea.

"We're gonna find 'er wif ye."

Ivy.

"But what about those other 3?"

"They ran off to snitch," Andrea admitted.  
"We're probably gonna have Calliope and Alison hunting us down eventually, so we might as well get going while we still can."

And with a simple nod from us all, we took off.


	32. Rhythm Tour

Cecelia led me to a soft couch by a glass coffee table. I was still panicking at this point.

"Shh," she said, rubbing my back.  
"I promise you, no harm will come to you while you're here."

I still wasn't sure. That was when she went over and gave me a stuffed unicorn. Fluffy and white, with a rainbow mane and tail. Hearts were patterned on the white horn.

"I understand she's not the one you're used to, but I do hope she will suffice."

I nodded as I hugged the unicorn close to me. Cecelia fluffed up a pillow and helped me lie down. I turned over to rest, but I felt a gentle breeze, and the settling of a fluffy blanket on top of me, the fluffiest blanket I'd ever felt. I still felt worried, and it seemed Cecelia could tell. I felt her sit next to me and her soft, warm hand rubbing my back.

"I know, I know," she consoled.  
"It's a very difficult situation right now, but I swear on my life; no harm shall come to you whilst you're here, alright?"

I nodded tentatively. A gentle squeeze on my shoulder was surprisingly comforting.

"Try to get some rest, darling. I'll have supper fixed as soon as possible."

I nodded as she went into the open kitchen.

Soon I could hear the sounds of a knife rhythmically cutting against a board, Cecelia's shoes rhythmically clicking against the floor, the rhythmic stir of a ladle against a pot, even the bubbling was caught in a soothing rhythm. I wasn't worried about it. Cecelia was a hypnotist, and had been one for God-knows-how-long. She likely managed to get caught up in rhythms all the time. I smiled as my eyes fluttered down, finally beginning to relax.

* * *

_Mystic? Mystic, sweetheart, wake up._

Like butterflies, my eyelids fluttered open. It seemed as though no time had passed.

"H-huh?" I groaned.

Cecelia gave an endearing giggle.

"You must've dozed off while I was making supper. How are you feeling?"

For the first time in a long time.....I felt wonderful. I felt so calm and comfortable, safe and secure here, especially with Cecelia.

"Pretty good, actually," I answered.

The smell hit my nose: a plate of chicken soup, and when I looked up, I saw some greens on the side, along with a steaming cup of tea. I took a taste of the soup. It was like.....a mother's love, especially when her child is sick. Even the greens tasted lovely, like Mother Nature herself made them.

"Thank you...." I sighed.

"You are welcome, dear."

She sat across from me with a small plate of her own. It was then I became curious.

"How long have you lived here?" I asked.

"In this house?"

Cecelia gave this a few moments' thought.

"Hmm....I would say....perhaps....."

I noticed that her ruby-red eyes seemed to be seeing a different time. Perhaps even a different place altogether.

"When I was in my.....twenties?

-Well, twenty-thousands," she corrected.

_Twenty-thousands? How old is she? How much does she know?_

"I must have scraped and saved for it years before-"

"Even while.....?"

"While I was working for him?"

I gave her a shy nod.

"Yes....I had to hide it from Kerrie so she wouldn't use it on one of her...brands," she shuddered.

Did I dare to ask?

"What kind of brands?"

".....Everything."

She sounded exasperated as she recalled everything.

"From rubber noses to...unmentionables. And canned foods. And diving supplies-"

"Wow," I exclaimed.

_Why am I surprised? This is Kerrie we're talking about._

"Yes. It was a......n experience watching her add occupations, and odd paraphernalia to the castle-"

"Yeah, that sounds like Kerrie-"

_100 FUCKING PERCENT KERRIE._

Cecelia coughed.

"-At any rate, I've lived here ever since."

"It's a nice house."

"Thank you."

I noticed a little blush coloring her cheeks.

"After.....if you're in the mood, we could do the Tour-"

Yes. Please.

"Okay."

I took another sip of my soup.

"-I swear you were a Professional Chef once," I exclaimed.

* * *

After we finished, Cecelia took the bowls and utensils. I felt an urge to offer help.

“I could help-“ I tried to say-

She stopped mid-stride.

“Oh….I’m sorry-“

“No….no, you’re good," I assured her.  
"I'll do it next time-“

Next time?

“I’d love to see your house," I said.

“Ah. Of course, just let me-“

I waited on the couch. The water from the sink flushed out in a soothing rhythm. The sponge. The drying. The soft clink of the dishes back in their cupboards.

It was.....relaxing.

Extremely relaxing.....

* * *

_Mystic? Darling?_

How long had it been? It only felt like a few seconds had gone by.

"Perhaps the couch is....a bit too comfortable," I laughed a bit nervously as I got up, still clutching the unicorn.

Why did I keep having lapses in my memory? Was Cecelia's presence just _that_ soothing?

Nonetheless she smiled and began.

“So…this is the living room-“

“You really like Victorian architecture, huh?”

“How did you know-“

I smiled.

“I like it too."

“Really?”

Cecelia seemed pleasantly surprised.

“I’m glad….”

She led me onward.

“You’ve seen the bedroom I made for you already-“

“Wait, hold on," I blinked in confusion because what the fuck?  
“You made a bedroom for me!?”

“When I was still with him," she quickly clarified.

“O….kay-“

_Weird flex, but okay._

“My room is across the hall."

Now there was something I _had_ to know.

“-Are there any secret passages in mine?”

“If I told you, they wouldn’t be secret," she replied with a wink.

“Good point."

_Hey Ferb. I know what I'm gonna do tonight._

“My kitchen is only made of green materials. I have a pantry, but it’s rather cramped."

“…..Yeah, I think I’ll pass on that."

Cecelia withdrew an ornate ring of keys from her pocket, and unlocked the porch door.

Did I really just say "an ornate ring of keys"? How many keys does she need?

“-Whoa. What do you need all those for?”

“I have several basements."

I couldn't help but wonder.

“How many is several-“

My attention was caught by waves crashing underneath the moonlight.

The wide slope looked like something out of a gothic….historical, scenario-

Romance or horror, either way, it - was - enchanting.

“Wow….”

I was in awe.

“Isn’t it beautiful?”

Cecelia smiled.

“Sometimes, I like to go out here and just…..listen”.

“I don’t blame you."

_I’d spend every hour out here if I could….._

I sat down on a nice ornate swinging bench on the large porch and just stared, listening and looking, letting the breeze take me away, as the bench swung rhythmically.....

* * *

A single cough made me jump. I came to, once again aware of my surroundings.

_Holy fuck-Did I just get entranced-?_

"-Would you like to know about the basements now?"

I had to blink a few times.

"How many did you say you had again?"

"I have at least three-"

_At least?_

"You aren't sure?"

"Well, I do tend to make more rooms depending on the occasion-"

"What!? How do you do that-"

"Magic," Cecelia said simply.

_Seems legit._

She went back inside.

I reluctantly followed, taking one last, long glance---

"I also have a study on the second level-and an attic above that."

"What's up there?" I asked.

"Just old things....trunks, clothes-"

"Can I look around there sometime?"

"Of course you may."

She closed and re-locked the door.

"I've been meaning to add in a garden as well, but...."

She sighed.

"A cliffside isn't exactly the ideal place for it--"

"I think you could still do it."

"Thank you."

I felt unusually comfortable around Cecelia. It was....weird. One moment she was working for the Cursed God. The next she was.....showing me around her house. I didn't think things could get stranger.

_Maybe the secret passages will spell a different story._

We went up the stairs.

The house was quiet aside from the ticks of an occasional clock-

".....So yes. That is my house-" Cecelia began.

"-But I know there's more to it than what you've said. Right?"

She smiled.

"You know me well."

Now shit was getting exciting. My curiosity fire had been stoked and it sure as hell wasn't going out.

"How long will you be letting me stay here?"

"For as long as you would like."

I breathed a sigh of relief. That was enough time to find out something awesome.

"Thank you-"

"It's no trouble at all."

We came to the spot where the hallway curved toward my new room.

"I have some files to check up on....call me if you need anything?"

_Files? What about?_

I decided to ask later.

"Sure."

Cecelia nodded.

"Have fun exploring."

I blinked in shock

"Okay---"

Was I _actually_ being left to my own devices for once?

Cecelia's footsteps receded.

_Holy shit! I'm actually being left to my own devices for once!_

I yeeted into my room and shut the door. This was where the fun was truly beginning.

"Now where are those secret passages?"

I started playing detective-eat your heart out, Kyoko Kirigiri-by checking common places for secret passage indications.

I felt the walls, and even knocked a couple times, but nothing sounded particularly hollow.

It was the same with the floor, the closet doors, the entire bed, even the canopy. 

I was beginning to feel discouraged and it was late, even later than when we'd eaten.

"Fuck! Is there _nothing_ here that--ow!" 

The back of my leg hit something the window ledges, and then I heard a click **......**


	33. Secrets Below

After the click registered in my mind, I whirled around and saw a seat by one of my windows.

"What the fuck?" I whispered as I felt around the polished wood.  
"Did this just-?"

_Creak!_

The seat lifted, and revealed a ladder going down.

My eyes were wide as fuck, and so was my smile.

"Ohhhh, this is gonna be good," I chuckled.

I needed a flashlight, though. 

I searched around my room, but finally found one that worked, along with one of those camera headband things, with a working camera-with a night vision filter-and a book to hold the door open

I put the camera on my head and clicked the RECORD button.

"What's up, fuckers?" I asked quietly.  
"So-holy shit-look at what ya girl just found."

I peeked down and shone the flashlight.

"That looks pretty fucking deep. And I'm gonna check it out. Am I gonna regret this? Possibly. Will it be fun? Hell yeah. I'll come back with an update.........that is if I don't fall and break my neck on the way down."

Pressing the RECORD button again, I cautiously stepped onto the first wrung and started down, praying that the book didn't fall, as well as praying that I didn't fall.

The only things I could hear were my own breath, my heartbeat, the rhythm of my feet, and the rhythmic dripping of water. I was too terrified to look down as I descended into what very well could be Hell. I mean, I knew she'd turned over a new leaf, but Cecelia sounds a bit like the name of a demon, so I wouldn't be too surprised if Cecelia had a direct pathway to Hell. Something inside of me doubted that she'd put it under my room, though.

"It'd be kinda cool and terrifying to have a direct passage to Hell," I whispered to myself.  
"I mean, I could just go up to the gates of Hell and be like 'Hey there demons. It's me, ya boi,' except that I'm not a demon boi. I'm a Jesus girl."

That sent me on a tangent.

"I mean, I've tried to accept Christ. I've said that 'Jesus is Lord,' I believe that He shed His blood over my sins-especially since, well, I wasn't alive back then, so who knows?-but I've felt so disconnected. And I've already unleashed two demons into the fandom, one on accident and the other through memes, so am I just damned completely? What if John Calvin's right? What if I'm predestined to go one way or the other? Is it possible for someone to be predestined to go to Hell? I mean, maybe that's why Dr. Faustus signed over his soul. But was he tricked into it or did he give it? Apparently there are two texts. Theatre History 1 had me read the Marlowe version. But didn't Theatre History 2 have us read the other text? I can't remember the playwright's name.....but who's the original playwright? No one knows."

Down, down, down. 

Would this ladder never come to an end?

"I wonder how many miles I've climbed down by now," I chuckled.  
"I must be getting close to the center of the earth. What would one even find at the center of the earth? I mean, I've been told it's things like magma, but what if it's actually something else? Like gems or crystals? Or even candy? Maybe some sort of secret candy, one that can be used as medicine. Perhaps the cure to cancer or this pandemic. Or maybe, it could eliminate all sorts of violence from the universe. And give children in bad family situations nice, loving homes. Like with Cecelia...."

This got me thinking.

"I mean....my relationship with my own mother isn't all that great.....and Cecelia's been so kind and sweet to me ever since I woke up here.....is it possible......?"

I shook my head.

"No, she's probably busy as she is," I sighed.  
"It might be nice, though. Perhaps simply asking her wouldn't hur--"

_Click!_

Solid ground was under my foot. I stepped off the rest of the ladder, flipped on the flashlight, turned on the night vision, and pressed RECORD.

"Hey, it's me," I whispered.  
"So I didn't die. But I'm down here. I....don't exactly know where 'here' is..."

I shone my flashlight around.

"It looks like some sort of......subterranean labyrinth. Is this the underground version of that David Bowie film? Am I Sarah? Who the fuck knows?"

Then I stopped.

Up ahead was an array of doors, and in the center was a ring of various keys. It was as if Cecelia _knew_ I would try to find a way down here. I walked ahead and grabbed the ring of keys before shining the light on the doors. 

One in particular caught my attention.....a ruby-red door.

"Hmm....okay, if watching things like _Kill Count_ and _Escape the Night_ have taught me anything, it's to _never_ go in through doors that give an aura of 'DANGER: STAY THE FUCK AWAY.' But fuck it. We're going in."

I shuffled through the ring of keys until I found the one that matched. 

In the lock.

Turn.

Click. 

The door slowly swung open.

I could already hear Manny in my head.

_"Don't go in there, you dumb bitch!"_

I stepped inside.

_"And we're walking in."_

I shone the light around the room, quickly picking up on various patterns of black and white stripes.

"Where's the light switch?"

I felt around the wall until--

_Click!_

It flipped on.

And I was stunned at what I saw.

Spirals were everywhere.

Pocket watches. Books. Machines. Flat screens. Inventions. Dentist chairs. Even something up ahead that read _The Funhouse of Hypnotism._

"Holy fuck..." I gasped as I turned off the night vision filter.

It was a lab devoted entirely to hypnosis and mind control.

And I was......a mixture of excitement, intrigue, and "what the fuck?"

"What the hell is this?"

There was a pink door on the right wall and a violet door on the left.

"Well, violet's one of my favorite colors."

Heading for it, I used the key matching it and opened it up. There weren't any light switches, just torches. It looked like a witch's dungeon. Cauldrons, spell books, alchemy stuff, tomes, potions, everything a witch could need or dream of.

Look, I know sorcery and witchcraft goes against the Bible, not entirely sure why, I think, but.....damn, this was amazing.

"Now for that pink door."

On my way, I noticed a strange blue bottle in the hypnotism lab. Actually, quite a few of them. Hesitantly I picked one up and scanned the label.

**_Hypnolium_ **

_This serum, when ingested, can grant its drinker permanent beginner or intermediate hypnosis skill. For best results, add to food and drinks to amplify the flavour......_

I knew I shouldn't drink strange beverages, especially right from the bottle, but I had to see what it tasted like plain. Uncapping the crystallite bottle, I caught a whiff of Arabian perfume and I took a deep breath.

"Down the hatch, Mystic."

I began to drink.

It tasted horrific. Like rotten fish oil with a hint of sugar. I wasn't sure if it was expired or not, but it was absolutely vile. However the problem was....I couldn't stop myself from drinking it. I'd try to take the bottle out of my mouth, but my body wouldn't let me until I'd downed every single drop. Once I was done, I felt nauseous. The bottle slipped from my hand and let out a musical crash.

I had to get out.

But....my body wouldn't move in the way I wanted it to.

Instead, it reached for another bottle. I tried to resist, but the pull made my muscles cramp up. As I grabbed another bottle, I caught sight of a warning label.

_**WARNING: DO NOT INGEST MORE THAN ONE A DAY. MULTIPLE DRINKS MAY LEAD TO DELUSIONS, HALLUCINATIONS, INSANITY, LOSS OF CONSCIOUSNESS, AND/OR DEATH. IF YOU ARE A NEW AND/OR FIRST-TIME DRINKER, BE SURE TO HAVE SOMEONE IN THE SAME ROOM AS YOU.** _

My hand cramped tightly around the bottle as I tried to throw it across the room. I clutched to it so hard that I heard a crack and the loud sound of crystal glass shattering. Sapphire-blue shards pushed themselves into the palms of my hands, but it didn't matter to my body. In fact, as if by a primal urge, I fell to the floor and licked up what had splashed into a puddle, and downed what had remained in the bottle. 

Then I went onto a 3rd....

4th....

_5th...._

_6th....._

_7th......._

_I struggled my way over to the pink door and unlocked it. Immediately the sound of a haunting, but entrancing, music box began playing as a super-cute room became blurry in my vision. The pain in my hands was gone. In fact it felt as though I had no hands to begin with...._

_I fell to my knees on the fluffiest carpeting in the world.....and then my head met the fluff....._

* * *

My eyes fluttered open as I heard the sounds of typing and machinery whirring while a soft music box played in the background. To my left, I heard a woman humming.

"H-huh?"

"Oh, thank Heavens. You're awake!"

Why did that voice sound familiar? I tried to stand up, but I was pushed back down.

"No, no, no, darling," the familiar voice shushed me.  
"You're still drowsy."

My eyes began to adjust as I looked at the woman who had returned to typing on a machine of sorts. Red hair.....red eyes.

Cecelia......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno. Maybe she's trying to help me after I passed out.


	34. R and R

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: IVs/needles, scolding.

I struggled to get out, realizing she couldn't be trusted. Clearly she hadn't paralyzed me, so what had she done? Had she restrained me? Held me down with straps? Pinned me? Chained me? Tied me up?

Well.....

Actually, it was none of the above.

I could move well enough. It's just, whenever I sat up from the bed or made sudden movements, I'd feel lightheaded and sick, and my vision would become blurry. When I managed to focus again. I saw that Cecelia was typing on a computer on an IV pole. I followed the tube downwards. The needle was in my right arm. 

Feeling a fight-or-flight response, I tried to pull it out.

"Mystic, don't! Please!" Cecelia gasped fearfully.

I stopped at her sudden response. She sounded genuinely afraid.

"What did you do to me?" I asked.

"I simply hooked you to an IV. The fluids in it should help counteract the majority of the hypnolium."

I blinked. 

"Oh," I answered sheepishly.

There were a few moments of silence as I laid there in confusion. Was Cecelia genuinely trying to make sure I was okay?

"Mystic," she sighed.  
"You read the warning label on the bottle, didn't you?"

I shrunk into myself.

"Sorta...."

"Then why didn't you come get me to supervise?"

I gulped.

"Well...I'd already drank one bottle before I saw the label...."

"You shouldn't have done that," she scolded somberly, her volume growing gradually.  
"Why did you think it was a smart idea to drink it without checking the whole bottle? You could've been killed! Is that what you were trying to do? Was it?! Were you trying to kill yourself again?!?"

My stomach churned as I shook my head, and I felt myself tear up. Being yelled at made me genuinely terrified.

"I--I'm sorry," I squeaked, trembling as I shrunk under the covers a bit.  
"I....I was just curious...."

Sighing, Cecelia pushed a button and walked over, sitting on the side of the bed.

"I know, darling," she told me softly as she pet my head.  
"I know. I'm so sorry for yelling. I....I didn't mean to frighten you, but hypnolium is very toxic in large doses, especially when it's taken in such a short amount of time. It shifts your neural pathways, your eyes, and your vocal cords to accommodate the new power, and if taken too much too often, it could overwhelm your brain and fry it, killing you."

Holy fuck....that sounded terrifying.

"But....I couldn't stop myself from drinking it.....I don't know what came over me..."

She sighed again.

"That explains it," she muttered under her breath.

"Huh?"

"Hypnolium is addictive to new drinkers, one of the more unfortunate side effects. That's why the warning label says to have someone experienced supervise you, someone like me."

"Why? What makes you different?"

"Each time you ingest it-after a certain increment of time has passed, of course-you build immunity to the addictive substance in it."

That made sense, sorta.

"And as of now," she continued.  
"I forbid you to go near it without supervision, at least until I'm certain you can handle it on your own."

I huffed. It was a disappointment, but also fair. 

"Now you should get some rest, dear. It's very late."

She gave me a small kiss on the forehead and went to leave, but that only made me panic.

"Wait," I exclaimed.  
"Please....don't go...."

I begged with my eyes. I felt so scared. What if the Collector or the Cursed God found this place somehow in the middle of the night? What if they broke in and took me back to Purgatory? What if Monika or Kerrie found me?

She gave me a gentle smile.

"Alright," she said.  
"I'll spend the night in here." 

She went over to the closet, and pulled something out....a mattress of sorts. As she blew it up with the pump, it went into a sort of rhythm. Strange....everything Cecelia did seemed to be in rhythms. 

_I'll have to ask her about it in the morning._

In the meantime, I was getting extremely sleepy and tired.

Soon my eyes fluttered shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is Wednesday, my dudes.


	35. Planning and Secondary Locations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CG and the Collector plan while two new people enter.

While all of that was going down, the Cursed God, and the Collector were trying to figure out a sort of plan to get Mystic back. The ace had seemingly gone off somewhere else and the wedding was still being planned and decorated for. They didn't necessarily have a time limit, but since Mystic was in their world now, it was better for them to get her now than it was for them to have to go into her world to get her. Going into _her_ world would draw too much attention, and they weren't as powerful in her world. At least not yet.

"Is there any way to track down where the portals lead to?" the Cursed God asked fretfully.

"You'd have to track down the energy they give off," the Collector explained.  
"And we both know how difficult that can get."

He sighed.

"Will I never see her again?"

"I said it was difficult. I did not say it was impossible. And besides, the details of our contract have been finalized. It will only take her signature and the signatures on the marriage certificate to seal our deal. Therefore I have no intention of giving up."

"What exactly do you see in her anyway?"

Hearing this, the Collector chuckled.

"I should be asking you that question, for she has great potential as an exhibit. She is an art piece, a moving, vibrant, lively art piece. This is why my Arabian exhibit is currently the most popular, because you do not simply look at the exhibits; instead you also get to enjoy storytelling and even participate if you wish."

"Isn't Schamalamadingdong, or however you say it, a murderer?"

She gave him a death glare as she mapped out energy fields to detect the portals with.

" _Scheherazade_ has not murdered anyone outside of her exhibit. However she is looking for an apprentice to help her with the shows. Perhaps your bride may be interested in being a part of two exhibits, instead of just one, should she be chosen by Scheherazade."

"Does she know?"

"Indeed. I have told her that her mind is made much differently than others; thus she can provide some unique perspectives and tales. However the choice is left up to her."

All of a sudden, Kerrie entered, dragging two more.

"Hey, boss!" she exclaimed.  
"Got a couple of Mysty's friends. Perhaps we can hold them for blackmail."

"Let us go!" one of them yelled.

"I told you," the other one exclaimed.  
"That I don't go to secondary locations."

The Collector took a look at them.

"Ah yes," she said.  
"I know of you two; Delta and Cyrille. And now that you are here in the flesh, you will be excellent additions to the exhibits."

The two looked at each other.

"Hey, Cyrille," Delta gulped.  
"What did John Mulaney say about tertiary locations?"

Cyrille shook her head.

"I don't think Detective Bittenbinder told him anything about that."

Hearing this, the Collector seemed intrigued.

"Who is this....Detective Bittenbinder? And this John Mulaney?"

Cyrille's face was a mixture of excitement, confusion, and fear. On one hand, she'd get to talk about John Mulaney, but on the other hand, she was in the presence of the Cursed God, the Collector, and Killer Motherfucking Kerrie. So the nerves were wracking up quite quickly.

The Collector could tell.

"I see. Perhaps you would be better off telling me in writing. A miniature exhibit on them would be quite fascinating."

She then turned to Delta.

"And what about you?"

Delta felt her stress levels skyrocketing. She didn't do well under pressure and stress, so she felt herself at a loss for words.

"I see. Well, we will still find somewhere in the museum for you. Every bit of the fandom, especially the writers involved in the Possession, has made a grand impact on its history. So you will not find yourself feeling useless or invisible here."

_How does she--?_

Delta felt her eyes widen. 

"It is not difficult to tell one's insecurities when you have lived as long as I have. Perhaps, if you are interested, you may compete for a special spot."

Special spot? Delta was intrigued.

"Wait.....what sort of....special spot?"

The Collector smiled.

"You will see."

All of a sudden, the Cursed God gasped.

"I think we have a general location."

The Collector rushed over and checked.

"It appears we do indeed."

She summoned up a portal and stepped through. Now it wasn't going to be too difficult to get her exhibit back. Scanning the house for anything in particular besides her, she found bottles of strange liquid. Her staff lit up red and it was confirmed.

Now it was only a matter of time.

And a matter of a second victim......


	36. Impatience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I lose my shit.

I woke up who-knows-how-long later.

The soft tune of the music box was still there.

Cecelia was still asleep upon the mattress.

And holy fuck! There were people in the doorway.

“. . . Ivy? Andrea R.? Lydia-“

I was shooketh.

“’Ello love."

“You okay?”

“We finally meet again."

Holy fuck! Someone else was there too.

“Alison?”

“I see you’re awake."

I was confusion.

“Calliope? Alice? Envy? -Even the Sorceress?”

“Good morning, child”.

“Hi Mystic-“

_Someone waved at me._

“You certainly gave us quite a fright."

“A fright?”

Fuuuuuck.

“Don’t mind her," Andrea snorted.  
“She’s had an attitude since she caught up to us."

“Most likely because she has no magic to use”, Calliope said thoughtfully.

“A lot’s happened since you’ve been with us. . .” she continued on.

Wait a second, the Staff?!

“-Where did you get that!?”

“-Oh I didn’t take this; our strange friend did it."

“Who?”

My mind was spinning.

“The ghost."

The not-Beetlejuice?! I glared, I still didn't trust him.

“Wha- _how!??”_

“-I don’t quite know all the details, but it seems they somehow made the clown and the Cursed God believe you were dead, then sealed them between dimensions."

That sounded like bullshit; either that or I'd wanted to take care of them for myself.

“There’s no way they’ll be staying trapped for long, though….right?”

Was it bad that I hoped they wouldn't stay trapped?

“Perhaps they will-assuming they _don’t_ try to escape through taking control of the Staff again."

Through taking control of the whatnow?

“What!? What do you mean?”

“They attempted to open a portal to this reality from the other side-they failed, but it could occur a number of further times if we don’t eventually dispose of it."

“That’s-I mean, they won’t do it, right?" I gulped.  
"There’s no _way_ they’ll try……”

No one said anything.

FUCK. 

“How much longer do we have to use it?” Envy asked.

“Well….”

Calliope looked to Cecelia, still asleep on that mattress.

“There has also been an accident-we lost half the group to alcohol poisoning”.

GODDAMMIT! 

“Are they-!?”

_Did I kill them?_

“They are currently in a coma-like state. Mat, Ro, and Saf brought a Cross back from the church to cure them as we were told to do by the clerk, but I am afraid, with these moments so urgent….”

“What? What is it!?”

No one was giving me clear answers. How much longer do we have to use what? What the fuck was going on?! Why were they keeping me in the dark?!?!

“Love. . .please calm down."

Ivy stepped over to the bed, and put her hand on top of mine.

A warmth flowed through me; I predict it was the gay resurfacing.

“It’s gonna be alrigh’."

_Okay, that sounds fake, but okay._

“…..How do you know?”

“'Cause we’re gonna ask Cecelia ‘ow te ‘elp them faster."

Speaking of Cecelia--

“-What’s going on?”

_Oh, finally._

“Long time no see”, the Sorceress uttered.

“…To you as well."

Can you say DRAMA?

“Is something happening?”

Thank God I wasn't the only one out of the loop.

“Yeah….” Alice answered shyly

“The Cursed God and the purple harlequin are apparently trying to get out of limbo, and you already know about our friends kind-of sort-of being lethally punch-drunk," Lydia deadpanned.

“Ye-Wha-“

“We’ll explain on the way back," Andrea R. said.  
“Unless-you’re still feeling badly, Mystic?”

Oh, right.

That goddamn IV and the hospital bed.

“How long has it been?” I dared to ask.

“A day or so”, Alison replied.

“-Where’s everyone else?”

“Bretman, Lauren, Sierra, and M., the ghost I mentioned, are all with the comatose Guests," Calliope said.

Oh, so you're not even gonna let me know where Beetlejuice is?

“….That’s not everyone else."

“I know," she sighed.  
“The incident that prompted this trip, caused our odd friend to snap after someone nearly died."

Cue a brief dissociation. At least I'm pretty sure I was dissociating.

“-I’m sorry. Did you just say someone-“

“Yes. They would have sent everyone away, but I managed to talk them down into a compromise…however, it was interrupted by...”

Why was she pausing?

"What happened? And who almost died?"

“-An unfortunate distraction," she finally finished.

“What kind of unfortunate distraction?”

Did someone die?

Ivy’s thumb rubbed circles over my knuckle, a calming gesture.

Which, considering the circumstances, wasn't calming me.

“Bad timing."

I saw Calliope's eyes briefly flick to the Sorceress.

"That still doesn't--"

“So we are all who are left."

The Sorceress and I both maintained composure…me, a little less successfully. I didn't care. I was pissed at that point, but I had to keep down my anger.

“This person really thought to consult with me, huh?”

I didn't even care that I sounded like a bitch.

“Time isn’t necessarily on our side anymore," Calliope admitted.

_Well I don't know how much time you're talking about because NO ONE IS TELLING ME ANYTHING!!_

“Well we can’t carry _that_ around with us, either," Andrea R. protested.

"Carry what around?" I asked.

No one answered me.

“Not unless…anyone has a plan to destroy it?” Alison offered

“I do have an idea," Calliope said.  
“But it might be dangerous."

“This whole business has been dangerous from start-to-finish," Envy muttered.

“What is it?” Alice asked.

“We may be able to have it melted."

“Melt it? Where? And more importantly melt what?"

“-I may know a place," Cecelia chimed in.

_PLEASE give me some clear answers._

“Is it a place we want to be knowing about?” Envy asked warily.

_Hey, can you maybe not?_

Lydia and the Sorceress both shot him a look.

“It’s a valid concern, isn’t it?”

“Quite right…” Cecelia admitted.  
“I am afraid an old…'acquaintance' of mine lives in the vicinity. She is- _very_ good at her craft, shall we say-“

“Who is it?”

“Circe Jones."

"Circe Jones? The witch from OET?" I asked.

_How is she acquainted with Cecelia?! Isn't she **afraid** of her?_

“….What’s her craft?” 

"Alice, you read the--"

“She is a rival to my own strength, I should say."

“Great…another hypnotist-“ Envy sighed.

"No, that's wrong! She's---!" I tried to chime in.

“….Where’s the source of fire?”

“Overseen by a Prince and his Mother…they are both equally unpleasant."

_Great, Purgatory Kamukura?_

I voiced this aloud, just with some different wording.

“Hm? Yes, I’d suppose so-“

Oh, so they answer me when it's convenient for them?

“And what about the cure?”

_Of course, another thing that's unanswered._

"Wait, a cure for what?" I asked.

“I would have to see the victims."

"The victims of what?!"

“That can be done”, Calliope nodded.

“Then it is settled."

Alison made sure that everyone was in agreement with her piercing glance.

I shook my head, but she didn't seem to acknowledge it.

“After healing those sick, we head off to dispose of the Staff."

"Wait, why are we disposing---?"

“And then what?” Alice spoke up, slightly nervous to receive a reaction.

“Cecelia said I could stay with her…for as long as I want."

Andrea R. did a visceral double-take.

“The fuck-?“

“Do not be alarmed," Cecelia said.  
“I mean her no harm. I’m not working for them anymore, as I told you in the past."

“I know, but, this is kinda sudden," Lydia chimed in.

“I at least wanna stay wif’ ‘er too," Ivy added.

_Please don't. I'm gonna explode at any second now and I don't want you to be there when it happens._

“Same." 

_Andrea, don't._

“…Then I’ll also stay." 

_Lydia, don't be an idiot!_

“As long as you take demons…like BJ-“

“Only if he promises to behave."

Cecelia was firm.

“I…well you are about to save his life, so-“

Lydia shrugged.

“I think I can persuade him."

“Thank you."

“I was going to go home…” Alice admitted.

Silence fell.

"I'd still visit-"

"How?" Andrea R. wondered.

"My powers...Envy's?"

"When would you have the time?" the Sorceress wondered.

"Well...I'm usually on Discord in the evenings, right? It'd be like that, just. . . .After my mom goes to sleep? Or...hm......I don't know. Should I explain all this to her-"

"You're old enough to technically do what you want," Envy said.

"I know...And maybe, I could stay over sometimes! On college weekends-"

"Maybe," I said giving a grimace, but I tend to have resting sad face.

Cecelia coughed.

"Well. . .we could also discuss that at a later occasion. For now..."

She turned to Calliope.

"Could you please open a portal between where your injured friends are, and my house? I can't leave her-"

"No, that's--" I began.

"Tha's right," Ivy told me as she held my hands.  
"I'll be wif' yeh until yeh're better".

"You don't need to-"

"Love, I _want_ te."

"I promise that you really--"

"Same here," Andrea R. insisted.

"No, I'm trying to--"

"And me as well."

Lydia's expression brokered no arguing.

"But there are other lives at stake-" I reminded them.

"Too late-we've made up our minds."

"No, seriously, you can't---"

"I'll also stay," Alice decided.

"I'm trying to warn you that--"

"Then I'll be here..." Envy quietly supported.

"Envy, you have sensitive ears---"

"I'll be wherever," the Sorceress clipped.

Calliope and Alison exchanged wary glances.

"She hasn't done anything bad yet," I said firmly.

The Sorceress raised a perfectly-drawn eyebrow.

"...Very well. I shall create the portal."

The former helper waved the Staff, and Cecelia stepped through.

"Guys, you should go--"

"We already told you no," Lydia exclaimed.  
"We're staying."

"You're being---"

"We care about you," Andrea R said.  
"I'm not gonna fucking leave your side."

I felt myself growing hotter and hotter. Not because I had a crush on her. 

"I said--"

"We've made up our minds," Alison told me.

"I'm trying to warn you---"

"We're staying," Calliope said.

I gritted my teeth, my body trembling.

"Are you at least going to--?"

"I think I'm gonna go get a snack," Envy said. 

....

You know those moments where your emotional cup is at its capacity, and then it takes literally one tiny thing to just set you off? That was where I was at. An anger had been boiling up inside of me. None of what they were saying was making any sense to me; it was almost as if they were speaking a _completely_ different language, concealing all of these details. And on top of that, they were still okay with that ghost thing working with them. 

"No," I stated just after Envy announced he was getting a snack.

The others looked at me clearly confused as fuck.

"The fuck do you mean no?" Andrea R asked.

"I mean, no," I said, my anger rising.  
"That 'ghost' you mentioned. He's working with Monika. I'm not gonna work with him."

"You may not have a choice," Alison sighed.

"I do, actually. I'm choosing not to work with him. And neither should the rest of you. Monika is the reason that we're here to begin with. And on top of that, none of you are even bothering to explain anything. What are we supposed to cure? What are we supposed to have melted? Who almost died? Why are you working with that traitor? You said it yourselves that I've missed out on a lot, so WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT EXPLAINING SHIT? YOU ALL LEAVE EVERYTHING TOO FUCKING VAGUE FOR ME TO KNOW! IT'S LIKE YOU WANT TO KEEP ME SHELTERED FROM THE GODDAMN TRUTH!"

"Mystic, we're not--" Alison began.

"SHUT UP!" 

I was screeching as I yanked the IV out of my arm. Luckily I wasn't feeling _as_ dizzy. 

"I KEPT TRYING TO GET SOME GODDAMN ANSWERS A FEW MINUTES AGO AND I JUST KEPT GETTING TALKED OVER BECAUSE YOU ALL WANT ME TO BE COMPLACENT AND CALM."

"That's not--!" Alice began.

I fought against Ivy who was now trying to restrain me. I also briefly noticed Alison's face panicking as she got a message. 

"WHAT WAS THAT?" I demanded.

Alison didn't respond.

"WHY ARE YOU KEEPING ME FROM KNOWING THE TRUTH?!" 

Cecelia poked her head in through the portal and saw the IV out.

"Mystic!" she exclaimed.

Angered, I knocked the wind out of Ivy and made a break for it. I was barely out of the room when I felt myself getting sleepier. My vision got blurrier. As I was lying on the ground and fading out of consciousness. I could hear them talking.

_"She's out, right?"_

Alison.

_"I think so."_

Alice.

_"I don't want to worry her, but...."_

_"But what?"_

At least Andrea's being listened to, because the last thing I heard before I passed out was

_"Our ghost friend never actually trapped them in limbo."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I oop.


	37. A New Enemy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decide that it's time for me to find somewhere new.

I felt my eyelids flutter and in the distance, I saw a familiar color. 

But that was when they shot open. 

"Oh fuck...." I whispered as I felt myself on a bed.  
"I'm back here."

Someone groaned beside me. Shooting up, I looked to my left to see that someone familiar was next to me on another bed. Alice was still out cold. 

_Wait! How did **she** get here?!_

_"You are back where you belong..."_

I _hated_ that I knew her voice. Whirling around, I saw the Collector. 

"You bitch...." I mumbled under my breath.

Thank _God_ that CG wasn't there. I take it she still thought it was bad luck for us to see each other before the........wedding.

"You can't keep me locked in a cage like an animal!"

The Collector kept a strong face.

"I do not think of you as such. Now as you are in distress, the wedding shall be postponed. Until then, you will stay in here."

Then she walked off. I blinked. 

"Yeah, sure. I'm not gonna be like that. There has to be a way out."

I started looking, but it felt like nothing was coming up for me, until I found something embedded into the wall hidden away from plain sight. It was a keyboard and a note was attached to it.

_"Play a song containing 5 G3s, 2 F3s, 4 E3s, 2 D3s, 2 middle Cs, and 1 G2. Once you play the right song, the door should open."_

_How convenient._

"I think I have a good idea about what song it is," I shuddered.

I heard it in my head as I played.

_Everyday, I imagine a future where I can be with you._

All of a sudden, I heard something open. To my left was a trapdoor in the wall that was bouncing, likely from the release of the lock. I peeked in. It was dark, seemingly with no end. But hey. If it was gonna get me out of this hellhole.....

I looked back at Alice. 

_I'm sorry I yelled, but I don't like being left in the dark on purpose._

I crawled through, and the door shut behind me with a click, indicating that it was locked again.

* * *

It was about a five-minute trek until I spotted something. Something enchanting and colorful. It was a certain shade of red, and as I got closer, I saw some blue. 

"The Genie Room," I gasped.

_Animals must be kept in cages._

The Collector's words rang through my mind. But the genie was gone now.

_At least I think he's gone._

I looked around his former prison. Honestly, it was somewhat hypnotic. All of these colors and a mystical aura dominated the room.

_Hehe, Mystic-al._

Oh c'mon, I was probably gonna make that joke at some point.

I soon remembered that it was connected to Arabia, and that was when I saw a sparkling fog misting its way in. _This_ was the way in.

Slowly I walked in. Sure enough, it was as I'd seen it in episode 7, mystic-al, (I'm definitely gonna be making that joke a lot) with a violet smoke, tents everywhere, faerie lights. All that jazz. Except....something felt off to me, and not in a good way. Why?

Well, the first reason was that the storyteller's corpse wasn't on stage where she was killed. 

Wait.... _was_ she killed?

Did I miss something? Did....?

There was no way that it was....an act.

Unfortunately that was confirmed when I went behind the stage.....

I saw Sinbad's corpse. It still seemed fresh, which meant that season 4 happened not too long ago, but there was one that was newer. Still in her gold jewelry and red outfit....

"Fatima..." I gasped. 

Yes, Fatima and Sinbad had been laid right next to each other. To add insult to injury, their hands were tied so that it seemed like they were holding them. 

_"Azizah!"_

I heard someone call out.

I froze and hoped they wouldn't spy me.

_"Dunyazade! What is it?"_

_"I saw a shadow arise from the tent of the genie."_

_"Indeed? Do you think it could be--?"_

_"Perhaps. I've heard that she will be a worthy competitor."_

_"But does your sister know what she looks like?"_

_"I'm afraid none of us do, at least not specifically."_

_"Well then, we must search and tell your sister that her second competitor may be here."_

Then they stopped talking. 

I was trembling. Who were they looking for? And wait....sister?

"No...." I gasped as it hit me.

I did a little research beforehand about the One Thousand Tales. There was a woman named Dunyazade; the sister of....

"But she's supposed to be--"

_"Azizah! Dunyazade!"_

I whirled around to see another one of the bellydancers, grinning evilly. I backed away. 

"We have a new character for our tragedy!"

If I knew anything about these girls, I knew I didn't want to end up on the wrong side of the story. But as quickly as I tried to run, I still got captured and dragged to the tent, where I found myself tied to a pole. But that was when I saw a familiar face.

"Mystic?!"

Curly, dark hair and glasses, and the Mabel Pines-like voice, also tied to the pole.

"Delta?!"

 _"Mistress!"_ one of the bellydancers called out.  
 _"We have another."_

More of the bellydancers entered the tent and though I knew who I was gonna see, I was in disbelief about it. 

_"Well, well, well,"_ her voice called as she entered.  
"What do we have here?"

The book, the quill, the hair; it could only mean....

Scheherazade, the woman of 1000 tales.


	38. The Land and Lady of 1000 Tales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delta and I try to compete for a spot, but what spot?

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?"

I couldn't believe my eyes. Scheherazade was alive?! This evil woman who had become queen after distracting the king with 1000 tales for 1001 nights. It was that kind of talent I wish I had.

Except she also almost killed Bretman.

"Some new characters for a tale, perhaps?" she said as she circled the pole like a vulture circling a carcass.  
"Or wandering travelers who've lost their way?"

I tried to remain calm, but her vibe was....intoxicating. 

"I already know _her_ story," she said indicating to Delta.  
"A lady nearly 40, intelligent and compassionate, yet feeling useless and invisible. And that's only the prologue."

And then I felt the quill brush on me.

"However I don't quite know your story, little girl."

_Bitch! I'm 22. I'm **far** from little. _

"To be fair, I don't recognize you."

She shrugged.

"But none of that matters. You both shall die soon anyway, for a new tale of woe to write has walked upon us."

She began to write in her book.

Okay, despite my suicidal ideations, there are times when I like my life. And at that moment, I was really starting to appreciate it. I had to think of something.

_Wait a second. Scheherazade, Delta, and I have something in common!_

"Oh....you like to write?" I asked.  
"Delta and I actually do a lot of that ourselves."

She suddenly stopped and looked up at us. I could see a sense of intrigue in her eyes.

"Oh? Is that so?"

We both nodded.

"What do you write?"

"Fanfiction, mostly," I admitted, with Delta nodding in agreement.   
"Though I've also written short stories, poetry, I've tried writing novels as well."

"Interesting..." she considered.

Once again she was circling the pole, almost like she was studying us.

"I see why the Collector brought the curly-haired one to me then. A writer tends to be a good candidate for this special and coveted spot."

Once again, however, she zoned back in on me and she began moving the feather in a rhythm, forcing my eyes to follow it.

"But you....you went out of your way and found me, didn't you?" she said softly.

"Sort...of..." I said. 

A grin emerged on her face.

"Tell me, young one, what is your name?"

My heart began to beat wildly. She was loyal to the Collector, after all. What if she ratted me out to her? But she might kill me if I don't tell her.

"Mystic," I confessed.

Once again.....she was intrigued. Whispers rippled amongst the bellydancers, until Scheherazade quieted them with a simple hand gesture.

"Ahh," she said.  
" _Now_ I know _part_ of the story; a young, innocent, caring, and naive girl just above 20 years. One who released a dark deity without knowing, all because she wished for her writing to be more real."

I nodded.

"That's....kind of the gist of it."

"I see...."

Silence hung in the air for a few more moments.

"Well, unfortunately, there's two of you, but only one spot."

_Oh God.....does that mean...?_

"I should think that a competition is in order. The one who tells the best story shall win this coveted spot, while the other will be killed. How does that sound?"

The bellydancers sounded excited, but Delta and I were feeling absolute dread.

_No thank you. I don't like that._

"After all," she chuckled.  
"A story _is_ a bit spicier with blood...."

"But it's also boring with death."

I don't know why that emerged from my mouth.

"Mystic, why?...." I could hear Delta panicking.

But for whatever reason, Scheherazade seemed unhappy about it, to say the very least.

"Oh?" she asked, her voice laced with the frostiest ice.  
"And why do you think you can tell me such a thing?"

I could feel the winter air.

"I....well, I don't," I admitted.  
"I just simply think that death is an overused plot point in stories, because it's not tormenting enough."

Confusion painted her face.

"Not tormenting enough? What could be more torturous than death?"

"I can think of a few things."

"Then continue."

I nodded.

"You see, there _are_ people who _wish_ to die. And it's usually a temporary suffering when you kill them. Once you die, you don't feel pain. That's that. Now consider this; a man with a death wish enters Arabia and runs into you. You ask him to take part in your story and he knows that you write many death stories. He thinks this is the perfect chance to end his life. But what if, instead, you torture him, have him become a slave, prolong his life? He'll soon be begging for death, and you'll find that there's more satisfaction, because you hold his life in your hands for much longer. You hold it for as long as you wish."

More noises of intrigue from the crowd.

"I see...." she said.  
"Tell me more."

I could tell she was interested and I decided to lay it on thick.

"Another way you can torment people is through multiple victims. Instead of inflicting the suffering, have them inflict the suffering on each other. Here's an example; a group of best friends, two boys and two girls, enter a torture chamber as they play a game of life and death. There's no guarantee that they will die, nor is there a guarantee that they will live. The contraption is a length of barbed wire you set up and a bucket below that triggers a mechanism to open the door before they're killed. They must split into groups of 2. One from each pair is bound by barbed wire. The other partner must tighten the barbed wire by turning the cranks and when a certain amount of blood fills the bucket, the door is opened.  
"You see, you didn't do anything to torture them. The blame's not on you. There's no blood on your hands. You simply set up the contraption. They can choose not to use it. They have that choice. But so many of them choose to place their own lives over the lives of their loved ones. And just like that, you've turned their need for survival against them. You've exploited their need to survive at whatever cost. And if they leave alive, they'll never be the same. They'll be scarred for life."

Now I'm _not_ an immoral person. I don't like the idea of people in pain in real life. In fiction it's a different story. However Scheherazade and her crew love blood and torment, so I had to play to what they liked in order to save our asses. And thankfully it seemed to work.

"Well," Azizah said.  
"I think we know who would win. Unless of course Ms. Curly Top has a better idea."

I could feel the tension radiating from Delta. The stress was clearly getting to her, so that meant trouble on her end. 

_C'mon, Delta. I know you've got something!_

"Ok, um…" she began. 

I could hear the bellydancers yawning and I glared. 

_Delta, please tell them something-anything!_

"Ok…what if you were to have the most sexy and insufferable flirt in the world show up?" I heard her ask.  
"He would love hanging around you, and try to choose who is the most beautiful."

I blinked. 

_Of course she's bringing Captain Jack Harkness into this. It's definitely something, though._

It fell silence for a few moments, but soon they began to snicker.

"We'd just end up killing him," Dunyazade giggled.

"But he can't die, he's immortal."

Dunyazade, seemingly unamused, turned to her Scheherazade.

"Sister, perhaps if we got the hypnotism dust, they'd be more willing to give us ideas."

Hypnotism dust?! Unfortunately it seemed right up Scheherazade's alley.

"That might work..." she considered thoughtfully.

_Delta, you gotta get them back on the track! I don't want to have a charm cast on me._

"Seriously, the guy I'm talking about really can't die!" Delta exclaimed flustered.  
"I mean…he's been blow up, and he literally pulled himself back together!"

This did give the bellydancers and Scheherazade a little intrigue. 

"Hmmm......." Azizah pondered.  
"That'd certainly make a good comedy. But it would be a horrible tragedy."

I heard Delta gulp. How did she forget that tragedy was their specialty? I could tell they were growing impatient, which likely meant we were close to being killed, so I decided to contribute to the story, hoping that perhaps Delta and I could cooperate to get out together.

"Unless he wanted to die," I added.

"But she said he pulled _himself_ back together," another bellydancer pointed out.

"Trust me…no one has been _able_ to keep him dead. _No one!_ "

I could feel Delta shaking through the pole. Azizah sighed and left the tent. I prayed she wasn't getting what I thought she was getting.

"But what does that have to do with what _he_ wants?" Dunyazade pondered.

"He wants to find his one true love…the last man he loved died in his arms."

Yeah, the bellydancers seemed a bit confused, except for Scheherazade. She seemed slightly intrigued by the idea of a same-sex couple.

"Man?" a bellydancer asked.

"Yes! He loves both males and females, even aliens," Delta answered.

"But why didn't the man stay alive like _he_ did?" a bellydancer immediately wondered.

"And how does he want to when he flirts with anyone and everyone?" added another.

"Um....." 

It was clear that, under stress, Delta had trouble on the fly. I had to bring the story back on track. It may not be canon, but screw the canon! Our lives were at stake.

"He's compensating for the heartbreak inside of him," I answered.  
"Everyday that passes, his soul cries out in agony for his love to return."

"Exactly! Exactly!" Delta jumped on.  
"And so that's why he desires to find another true love! Even if it means dying repeatedly to do it!"

"But _you_ said that man was his one true love. How could he possibly find another?" asked another bellydancer.

Even Scheherazade was confused.

"I want to know that too."

"Because it's possible to have more then one true love," Delta added.  
"Especially if the love is strong and pure to the point that it can't be destroyed."

Unfortunately I'd also had an answer prepped and once I started talking, I found that I couldn't stop.

"He can't. He's deluding himself. He's in denial that his one true love is gone for good."

Hearing this, Scheherazade smirked.

"Which is it?"

Just from those three words alone, I could tell that if we didn't come up with an answer, we were toast. I had to compromise, blend the two together.

"He thinks it's possible, he wants to believe it's possible," I began.  
"But deep down, he knows that it's not meant to be. He just refuses to acknowledge it and wanders a lost soul, hiding behind a façade."

Unfortunately, Delta and I had the same problem. Once we had an answer prepped, even if it contradicted another, we had to get it out.

"Of course he does! He's lost his family, the man he loved, and has been cursed to live forever!"

I could see the others getting impatient.

"You both may want to compare notes," Scheherazade condescended.  
"That is, if you're going to be alive any longer."

"…what if I said that he caused his own grandson to die in order to save the world?" 

Delta was becoming flustered, and I knew that this was getting nowhere. I had to start up a different story. 

"Well, if you're gonna kill us, then you'll never get to hear my other tale," I shrugged.

_That_ stopped them. Scheherazade went over to me, feather quill in hand and once again she began to move it in a rhythmic fashion.

"Oh?" she wondered.  
"What is this tale you speak of?"

I knew _exactly_ which tale to speak of.

"It's called _The Tale of the Wandering Girl._ "

I saw the intrigue on their faces. _Now_ we were getting somewhere.

"Hmm," the storyteller mused.  
"Do tell."

"Are you sure?" I asked.  
"I thought you were gonna kill us."

Scheherazade grinned.

"Do you really think that I'd pass up the chance to listen to a story? Tell us."

This was my chance.

"A long time ago, in a village far away, there lived a shy and timid young lady, one who had suffered many a tragedy and was quickly losing hope. To cope with this tragedy, she would visit the grave of her grandfather who had died during an invasion, at the same time every day. 

"One day she came to visit at her same time, when she heard a voice.

_'Free me from my chains....'_

It was a rusty and dry voice. The girl followed it only to find a box. 

_'I have been trapped here for centuries. My only way to ascension is to finish my earthly deeds. Yet I cannot open this box. I beg of you, release me from this hell!'_

"Now the girl was also a rather sweet one and she wanted to help people. And so she decided to let him out. Unfortunately, she found out too late of his true intentions. It was an eldritch abomination who had been kept in that box for safety, and it was for good reason."

"I see," Scheherazade remarked.

"The deity rushed to her village and began possessing the citizens through the written word. Anyone who read something that he had possessed or something in which he was mentioned was doomed to become one of the next victims. Everyone managed to connect it back to her and they tried to warn her. At first, she thought it was simply a joke. It was not until it began to spread outside of her village that she realized the truth. Alongside this chaos, she found out from a prophet in a local village that this eldritch abomination had become obsessed with her; he wished to separate her from her friends and family, and keep her as his bride."

"And then what?" Scheherazade pondered.

"In a panic, the young lady begged to the prophet.

'Surely there must be a way this can be undone!'

After a long thought, the prophet told her that she must find seven medallions that link him to the graveyard-seven medallions belonging to the seven other women who he had married-she must destroy them at the same time to send his soul to Hell. In spite of her pleas, her friends insisted on coming with her. Finally she caved and allowed them to go with her, knowing that this was a deadly quest.

"On this on-going quest, her loved ones have dropped dead over and over, and even with a well of resurrection, she can only watch as they die, because the well requires a sacrifice. For each person one wishes to bring back from the dead, they must throw another down the well in exchange. Legend says that she still wanders today with those who still remain, frightened that the eldritch abomination may find her again, terrified that this will be all for nothing."

"All for nothing?"

I nodded.

"For the medallions are hidden well, and whispers from the sands of time say that there are actually 8 medallions, and that the 8th is not a thing, but rather a person."

I paused, indicating that the tale was over. Silence dropped, and I began to panic. Was it over for me? Was I going to die? But after what felt like an eternity, the bellydancers began clapping.

"Excellent!" 

I turned to see that Scheherazade was smiling; it was a genuine smile. 

"You truly have a gift, my dear."

At that moment Azizah returned with a bag of colorful....sand?

"Mistress, I have---"

"We may not need it," Scheherazade told her.  
"It's clear who the superior teller is."

"What if she's not cooperative, though?" another bellydancer asked.

"Of course, of course."

I felt a small sense of pride inside of me. I had managed to win over the favor of Scheherazade, the woman of 1000 tales. At the same time, however, I could tell that the bellydancers were now eyeing Delta hungrily. 

"You have a way of weaving stories," Scheherazade told me.  
"And because of that, you have won the coveted spot."

I blinked.

"And....what is this coveted spot?" I asked cautiously.

She smirked.

"For thousands of years, I have been looking for an apprentice to train under my craft, but I need one that shows promise."

Hearing this made my blood run cold.

"Wait....so do you mean--?" I began.

"Oh yes," she answered.  
" _You,_ my young storyteller, shall be my apprentice."


	39. Running Into Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A certain dreamer finds herself caught in a troubling scenario.

**Alice's POV:**

The sound of chatter outside.

I opened my eyes.

_Oh no....I'm back._

I was back in the exhibit.

I had to find a way out.

It took several minutes until I found it.

A keyboard

in the wall?

_"Play a song containing_

_5 G3s,_

_2 F3s,_

_4 E3s,_

_2 D3s,_

_2 middle Cs,_

_and 1 G2._

_Once you play the right song, the door should open."_

"What?"

I wracked my head.

What fit that criteria?

....

Wait....could it be?

"Everyday, I imagine a future where I can be with you."

**_SPRING!_ **

A trapdoor in the wall!

Was it a pressure lock?

Didn't matter.

It was open. 

I looked to find darkness.

I dove through, hoping for light soon.

*

*

*

*

Five minutes later, I was outside the exhibit. 

The room of souls.

I took a look inside the jar

despite my better judgment. 

It had more souls, but not the YouTubers' souls.

_"What are you doing outside of your exhibit?"_

Oh no.

I whirled around. 

"There _will_ be punishment."

No....

was I going in the soul jar?!

It wasn't my fault I was there!

"There was a door."

Confusion lit her face.

"There should not have been."

I shook my head.

"I don't care. Where's Mystic? Where's Envy?"

She smirked.

"Why should I tell a troublemaker like you?"

A troublemaker?!

"I'm not--!"

All of a sudden, her staff glowed red

and a fog went into my eyes.

My mind was......

_No, this is.....!_

_"Don't fight it._

_"Don't struggle._

_"You shall be of great use to me...."_

My energy was waning.

_No....I have to....hold on._

_......._

I went out like a match.

*

*

*

*

*

* * *

Meanwhile the Collector had caught her trespasser.

"There....it was not so terrible, was it?"

There was no response.

"You shall be of service to me, of course."

_"Of course, my queen."_

The eyes were a complete glossy red. 

_"I shall serve you for eternity,"_ droned Alice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally going to plan to have her take Alice's soul, but I like this idea better.


	40. Another 1000 Tales?

I had to mentally process everything I just heard. 

Scheherazade-the woman of 1000 tales, the woman who kept a king from beheading her for 1001 nights just by telling amazing stories, the woman who soon after got married to him and became queen-wanted _me_ to be _her_ apprentice. 

"I....I'm sorry," I said.  
"What did you just say?"

She chuckled.

"Quite a shock to you, it would seem."

_Yeah, no kidding._

I nodded.

"It's just.....you don't seem like the type of person who would _need_ an apprentice. I mean, you became queen by keeping a king enraptured in a thousand tales for a thousand and one nights."

"Of course I did, and I am _still_ a queen," she sniffed.  
"But new stories are always welcomed here, and your mind weaves such inventive tales, I can tell."

She circled my head with that quill feather and I shivered. But that's when something clicked in me.

"Hang on a second. My friend told me that you got devoured. How are you still alive?"

Scheherazade giggled and booped my nose with the quill. I wriggled it a bit, like a bunny rabbit, causing some of the bellydancers to giggle and I thought I heard a little "aww" from one of them.

"Do you really think that my sisters would devour me? We're quite the actors, you know."

"Acting? I mean, I love performing as well."

This sparked more intrigue, to the point where they weren't looking at Delta hungrily, which was a relief in my book.

"Then you're _indeed_ perfect for this apprenticeship."

She knelt by my side and elaborated the benefits of this spot.

"Just imagine it; you'd be training under yours truly; as you said yourself, I am the one who enraptured a king with a thousand tales for a thousand and one nights to save myself from certain death. This Arabian exhibit is the only one that is both moving and interactive, so you shall be able to choose visitors to partake in tales you come up with. Everyone will love you for your ingenuity and imagination. Plus, _we_ shall gift you with mystical power, magic that shall help to bring your stories to life, magic beyond even your wildest ideas."

But at the same time, the Collector and CG were on the lookout for me, and if I was gonna avoid getting married to Cthulu Squidward, I'd need protection of some sort.

She seemed to notice my hesitation as well.

"You seem....conflicted, young storyteller."

I knew she was loyal to the Collector. Maybe she'd make an exception if I told her what was going on?

"Well, the thing is the Collector wants to keep me in an exhibit. She's also made a business deal with the Cursed God so that he can be married to me and _she_ can have a star exhibit."

They seemed a bit confused.

"The Cursed God?" Dunyazade asked.

I nodded.

"He wants to lower the barrier between fiction and reality, and apparently I'm the one to do it."

"So then why shouldn't we simply hand you over to the Collector?" Azizah asked.

"Because if the deal was successful, and I ended up lowering the barrier, it would ruin the suspension of disbelief; fiction and reality would blur into a single entity, and no one would know if you were telling a tale or just recounting something that happened the day before. All of the magic would be gone. Also if I'm married to him, I'll fall into a depression, I'm sure, and when I'm in a depression, all of my creativity goes down the tubes. On top of that, she wants me stuck in the medieval exhibit, which wouldn't bode well for you."

They consulted each other on the matter.

"Yes," Scheherazade nodded.  
"You make a fair point. What do you seek from telling us this?"

"Protection. I understand you're loyal to the Collector, but if you keep me hidden from her until their contact with one another is sealed off, at the very least, I'll be more likely to stay with you."

I could feel my heart racing as she considered this. What if she didn't take me up on it? Would they just take me straight to the Collector and have the wedding that same day? However it didn't take her long to respond.

"Very well. I shall instate such protections for you, my young storyteller."

She then noticed Delta and turned to her squad, gesturing to the former.

"Ladies, as you wish."

My heart rocketed into my throat, knowing what she meant, and I let out a "NO!" Scheherazade seemed confused.

"What do you mean?"

I took a deep breath.

"Delta may not be a good storyteller in your eyes, but that doesn't mean there aren't other people who like the stories she presents. I read a story of hers in which she placed modern-day people into a Greek mythology setting of a death game, and I honestly thought it was pretty good. She even made Medusa seem more sympathetic when she killed the loser of that story's death challenge. Furthermore, that is another condition I wish to instate; no harm of any sort must come to my friends in this exhibit. In fact my condition is that they must _also_ be granted protection. That includes Delta."

I'm gonna be honest; Scheherazade was both elegant and intimidating, but I stood my ground, trying to swallow down my fear. It was the only way I was going to ensure that Delta made it out of this exhibit alive. 

"I don't believe I'm asking for too much," I told them, shrugging.

Hearing this, Scheherazade huffed.

"You are much more courageous than I originally took you for."

I wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not. 

"Very well. I shall instate protections for your friends as well."

"But how will we know who are your friends and who aren't?" Azizah asked. 

"Tell me their names when they enter," I suggested.  
"And they must be granted protection and asylum until otherwise said."

"If these are instated, you shall stay with us, correct?" Scheherazade asked with a slight fury in her voice. 

I gave a simple nod, not wishing to push the envelope any further. 

"Yes, if these conditions are instated and met, I shall stay and train under you."

A slightly-medium smile appeared upon Scheherazade's face, her fury gradually disappearing. 

"A wise decision, my young storyteller."

With that she turned to the others.

"Please untie these two and kindly show Miss Delta to the exit."

Azizah went over to my side and untied my knot while Dunyazade went over to Delta.

"Welcome to your new home, young storyteller," she greeted me kindly. 

I smiled back, thankful that Delta and I were both still alive.

"You shouldn't beat yourself up about it," I heard Dunyazade say to Delta.  
"I personally think a man who can never die is an intriguing concept. Sister, don't you at least think she has potential?"

Scheherazade's quill twirled around in the air as she considered this for a brief moment.

"Well, of course she has potential. I just don't believe her skill level could survive here, at least as of the present. It was rather disorganized and choppy, more or less character backstory. It was an interesting one, I shall grant you, but nonetheless there wasn't a true story."

I could feel Delta's disheartened vibe from where I stood. It wasn't as strong as when she was about to be devoured by Scheherazade's squad, but it was still there.

"Wait," I said.  
"You said that Delta has potential, and potential can be transformed into talent. Perhaps she could come and train with you every now and then."

Another brief moment of thought swirled in.

"Perhaps," she said slowly.  
"Perhaps some lessons from me would help to bring her skill up. I'll definitely give it consideration, but for now my priority lies with training you, my young storyteller."

The rope dropped. Dunyazade and a few others escorted Delta to the exit. As I watched them lead her away, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked and saw Scheherazade with a thoughtful smile.

"Come with me, my young storyteller. We'll begin the first training session while your tent is being set up."

And thus she lead me away.


	41. Back to Who We Began With

It wasn't over....

She knew it was far from over. 

She may have gotten away once, but not this time. 

This time she would be all hers.

And she was attempting to enlist a comrade to help.

Unfortunately....that turned out to be a big mistake.

* * *

"So....you want me back, do ya?"

Monika could _not_ believe she was doing this. Killer Kerrie, out of everyone, was the only one that came to mind as someone who could bring Mystic to her. 

And she had made the damning mistake of bringing this....psycho clown into her world.

_**"That's not what I said. I said that I needed your help."** _

"That's basically code for you wanna bone me."

_**"Ew! No! I don't like you!"** _

She sighed.

_**"But....you're the only one who knows I exist who will actually work with me on this."** _

"You're just like the boss," the clown groaned.  
"I dunno exactly what either of you see in her."

_**"I've never found someone sweet who was willing to also speak their mind---wait....boss?"** _

Kerrie smirked.

"Oh yeah. I've got a side job working for Cthulu Squidward."

_**"Cthulu who?"** _

"Just this eldritch abomination who Mysty accidentally let into the fandom. He's _completely_ head-over-heels in love with this chick and I can't understand what makes her so special. Sure, she's got these world-bender powers and whatnot---"

**_"She has WHAT?!"_ **

"Hey, if you want answers, then maybe don't interrupt me when I'm talking. Anyway, she's got all that, but she's a bit of a mess. The boss wants to marry her so she can lower the barrier between fantasy and reality. Only problem is that he can't use her magic to unless she gives consent for him to use it, as in genuine and willing consent. So Collect-y's gonna put her in this exhibit, have her coddled and shit, then when she caves, have CG open the barrier, and then keep her in that exhibit for eternity, giving the boss exhibit residuals. Pretty genius, except that everyone got away, but I brought in Delty and Cyr-beer, two of her friends."

_**"Okay......but what about these world-bender power things you mentioned?"** _

"Why should I tell you?"

_**"It could play to our advantage."** _

"Eh. She's a writer, so she can rewrite time and space with a shit-ton of writing practice. See, she builds up magic the more she writes, which gives her power to bend worlds, open dimensions, yadda, yadda, yadda. Not that big of a deal."

_**".....I could turn reality into a paradise for me and her....."** _

"Same rules would still apply to you, honey-bun."

Groaning, Monika thought this over, until she remembered something the clown had said moments ago.

_**"I guess I'll have to be Collect-y v2."** _


	42. A Deal with The Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delta's tempted into power.

As she was shown out of the Arabian exhibit, Delta felt a hole in her heart. This was completely on-brand; her being passed over and someone else getting the recognition.

_Well, at least they did give me a little._

Scheherazade said she did have _some_ potential, and that she could train with her every now and then--

Wait....she said that as if Delta was planning on staying. 

_Is there something she knows that I don't?_

Heart beating frantically, Delta tried to rush back inside, but she was already in the genie tent and the belly dancers were guarding the way back in. 

_Looks like there's no other way to go but out._

Sighing, Delta got down on her hands and knees and crawled through the hole. About a minute later, she was back out on the other side. She took a moment to collect herself and her thoughts. Mystic was staying with Scheherazade, probably a better fate than if she were to be with the Cursed God. Cyrille was, apparently, making a John Mulaney exhibit for the museum. And the others.....

Were there others?

Heading back to the main floor, she arrived to see the Collector and someone else step out of the soul room. Delta tried to get a look at the other person, but they kept their head down in submission. As the Collector had a rather intimidating, but queenly, aura, Delta felt her heart race inside her chest. In an attempt to get out of their line of sight, Delta kept her head down and tried to power-walk away. But just as she was past the other person.

A hand grabbed her shoulder. She gasped, her muscles tightening as if to make room for a ton of blood. Then in her ear, almost like a snake whispering....

_"I can help you overcome your insecurity....."_

The Collector's voice sent chills down Delta's spine. She dared not to look behind her or even up. She couldn't bring herself to. Delta attempted to speak, but her vocal cords were gasping as she felt them constrict in her throat. 

_"Follow me, child....."_

A single gentle yank was all it took to get Delta to follow her.

* * *

The three of them arrived at the Collector's study. It was a dark room lit by candles and ambience lighting. She felt her body moving on autopilot as the Collector lead her to a chair at an elegantly-crafted mahogany table.

_Please, Lord, just let her make the kill quick and painless!_

As if there wasn't enough anxiety in her already, now Delta practically embodied it. And the Collector could sense this.

"There is no need to be afraid, child. I did not bring you here to harm you. Perhaps I can make you something to help you relax."

Delta practically dropped onto the chair seat like a weight dropping into the ocean. With an elegance Delta couldn't grasp in her current state, the Collector glided towards a kettle. A red glow surrounded a cup, but by that time, Delta had spaced out in anxiety. It wasn't until she could detect a trace scent of peppermint in her nose.

 _"Maghrebi?"_

Delta flinched a bit.

"H-huh?"

The Collector had returned with the cup and a green tea. 

"Would you like some Maghrebi?"

Delta blinked in confusion.

"What's.....that?"

"It is a Moroccan mint tea."

_Huh._

On one hand, Delta _did_ like peppermint tea, but on the other hand, the Collector....was evil, right?

 _I mean,_ _I can't exactly escape anytime soon. Might as well have something._

"Yeah, sure," she trembled.  
"Thank you."

The Collector gently placed the cup at the table beside her before walking over, grabbing another cup, and sitting at the other end. She seemed to be watching Delta, who was anxiously observing the tea. 

"You seem rather apprehensive, Delta."

_To say the least._

"I just.....you're being really kind to me."

"Why wouldn't I be? I am not the clown who dragged you here."

_No, you're not. In fact you seem to be her antithesis. She's loud, energetic, and zany, whereas you're usually quiet, controlled, and poised._

"But....all I've ever heard about is how evil you are."

She considered this.

"I suppose that is fair. However you need not fear me, I promise."

_But....the tea._

Delta kept studying it.

"There is nothing in that cup but tea," the Collector assured her.

After some time, Delta decided that it seemed safe enough to drink and picked up the cup. After blowing on it to cool it down, she took a sip. It was a gentle, subtle mint, one that sent a sensation of relaxation through Delta. She could feel her muscles gradually returning to their normal tension, creating a much more natural blood flow.

"Mmm," she said softly as her apprehension began to melt a bit.  
"Oh, that's good."

"I hope it is not too bitter."

Delta shook her head.

"No, this is really good."

The Collector smiled.

"I am glad."

There were a few moments of silence. Within her relaxation, Delta pondered why the Collector had brought her here. She wasn't exactly the most high-profile writer in the fandom. If anything, Delta was confused why she hadn't seen Nora, one of the more high-profile writers. 

"You seem to feel left out of the loop quite often," the Collector told her after some time.  
"Am I wrong?"

A pit formed inside her. As the Collector had said earlier, one thousand years definitely gave her experience in analyzing people, and she'd hit one of her biggest insecurities right on the head. Her head shook softly.

"No," she admitted.  
"You're not."

"And you often feel unseen."

Another nod.

"And you feel that you're not being given the chance to use your skills."

_What is this; callout hour?_

"Right on the nail, I'm afraid," she affirmed reluctantly.

"I see. Personally I think you have quite a lot of skill. Your intellect and curiosity prompts you to explore into knowledge, correct?"

That kinda came out of left field.

"I....guess."

The Collector gave a soft smile.

"How would you like to be given power that will help you find knowledge as you wish?"

The tea practically rocketed upwards. Her? Power?

"Umm...."

"You wouldn't be left in the dark any longer and you'd finally be seen."

......

And there it was, another out of left field, but still.......

She wanted to be useful and seen.

But....the Collector.

"Uhhh....can...can I think it over?"

The Collector nodded.

"Another cup of tea while you think?"

"Sure."

Delta tried to keep herself occupied. She spaced out that by the time she came back, the tea was already cold. She took a sip and the taste hit her a bit harder.

"Why does it taste stronger?" she asked.

The Collector smiled.

"There is a saying that goes with the tea, which is usually served in cups of three: 

_"The first glass is as gentle as life,_   
_the second is as strong as love,_   
_the third is as bitter as death."_


	43. Trouble Brewing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And blood is boiling.

She lead me to an elegant and mystic-al-looking tent with some faerie-esque lights, giving it an anachronistic touch. A faint dark-violet smoke surrounded me, sending chills climbing through my spine. 

"Welcome, my young storyteller," she said.  
"To the practice tent. Here I shall instruct you on our art, and it is also where you shall practice, of course."

She directed me to what looked to be a bed of sorts. 

"Please, sit."

"Um....okay," I nodded cautiously, sitting on the end.

She came and sat down beside me. My gaze went down to my hands, thumbs twiddling.

"You seem rather anxious," she remarked with a slightly gentle tone.  
"Is there something wrong?"

I gulped. 

"I'm....I'm just scared to make a bad story, because I'm worried you and your friends would kill me if I did."

Hearing this Scheherazade's voice became a bit more gentle.

"There is no such thing as a 'bad' story; only bad ways in which to format it. And even then, sometimes, the best stories are written while throwing caution to the wind."

"But I really don't want to die, let alone at your hands--"

"You have no need to fear such a fate, my young storyteller," she assured me.  
"You are my apprentice, and as you are under my wing, as they say, you shall be granted protection for as long as you stay as such. Should any of my sisters attempt to sabotage your fate, I shall have to have a _talk_ with them.

It....didn't exactly take a genius to figure out what she meant by that.

"But....what about when I'm no longer your apprentice?" I looked up at her.

She gave a small smile.

"There is no such thing; you are always an apprentice. I am always an apprentice. We are all apprentices of life itself. There is no stopping point in learning. And even in Purgatory, there is always more to learn, more stories to tell as souls visit and give their anecdotes. We take inspiration from the anecdotes sometimes to create new tales, much as one takes inspiration from others' advice to pave through life. After all, nothing ever comes from nothing. We can also learn from one another."

"So....does that mean--?"

She nodded.

"You have no need to fear death. And even if you do die..."

Her hand floated down to my wrist like a feather to the ground; she carefully turned it palm up and placed two fingers on the wrist.

"Ah, yes, just as I thought. I can feel your pulse, and the warmth of your lifeblood. Even if you were to be killed once, you would simply end up here. The only difference is that you would not be able to leave."

She said that last sentence so casually.

"Now then.....what is your style?"

I blinked, confused.

"My what?"

"Your style in storytelling."

"In what context? Medium? Genre? Subject matter?"

"All of the above."

I gave this some thought.

"I...guess I tend to just go with whatever feels right to me."

Scheherazade gave a smile.

"A storyteller with spontaneity! How wonderful."

I nodded, lying down, as I felt some slight dizziness. She hovered over me a bit.

"Is there something wrong?" she asked, concern leaking into her tone.

I groaned in uncertainty.

"I just.....I don't feel all that good. I'm feeling lightheaded....dizzy, which is weird."

Scheherazade nodded.

"Perhaps the magic I promised you may make you feel much more on-balance."

_"Mistress!"_

Azizah stepped inside. 

"They're looking for the tokens."

Scheherazade's eyes widened when she heard that.

"What?!"

The bellydancer nodded.

"No doubt they'll come here for ours. We must prepare ourselves."

I was confused.

"Wait....who the hell are you talking about?" I asked sitting up, the blood rushing to my head. 

"Young storyteller, please, do not strain yourself," Scheherazade advised.

"I want to know what's going on. My 'friends' keep leaving me in the dark, I don't want the same to happen here."

The two looked at each other and sighed. 

"Your friends are looking for tokens that will destroy the Cursed God once and for all."

It took some time to register inside me. But when it did, I was **_pissed._**

"So," I growled.  
"People really _love_ to consult me on decisions that impact me, don't they?"

I could feel my blood brew and bubble. It wasn't fair. Not only could they not even be bothered to find me, but they were working to save the day behind my back? To keep me in the fucking dark?! I'd had _more_ than enough.

I turned to Scheherazade.

"Tell me about this magic."


	44. Rushed and Reunited

Finally the guests had awoken from that alcoholic nightmare.

"So can someone tell us just what the fuck is going on?" Gabbie asked.  
"Also, where's Lauren?"

"And where's the Sorceress?" Tana added.

Sierra could barely keep her composure. 

"They're....gone."

A silence draped the room.

"They're...they're dead," JC said to confirm.

The Heiress nodded.

"And now we've got a bigger problem," Bretman sighed.  
"Miss Cece told us that Miss Mystic's gone, and so's Miss Alice."

"So nothing new," Envy sighed.

"Okay, but the only place I think they'd end up," Lydia remarked.  
"Is the museum."

"That's our next step," Alison nodded.  
"After we get them, we keep Mystic behind the battlefield lines."

"That's just gonna make her hate us," Sierra squeaked. 

Alison sighed.

"I'm aware of that, but it may be for the best if we keep her out of the fight. If the Cursed God gets ahold of her, it won't matter if we have the tokens or not. He'll have her, and he'll make it extremely difficult to get to her."

"Why not get her _after_ we destroy the tokens?" Envy asked.

"Any minute that we spend leaving her in his watch is a minute closer she'll be to breaking down and giving in. That's a risk we can't afford to take."

"So then what about when she starts resisting?" Gabbie wondered.  
"We all know she's not going down without a fight."

"Several of us have volunteered to keep her placated."

A moment of silence.

"I think you're underestimating the fight she'll put up."

"If she'll break down from CG easily---" Envy argued.

"That's a topic for another time."

"It's really not."

Conversation overlapped.

"Okay, so.....are we gonna go get them?" Tyler asked.

Calliope nodded.

"The museum is also where one of the tokens we need is," Alison said.

"Great, that'll save us some time," Liza smiled.

"If one of us doesn't die, obviously," Colleen rolled her eyes.

"We'll stay together," Calliope said as she and Alison prepped for teleportation.  
"Check every inch of the museum."

And they were off.

* * *

It only took a few moments for the magic transfer to be set up. Honestly I felt a little nervous, but at this point, I was also tired of having an insane disadvantage and being left in the dark all the damn time.

Scheherazade gave me two glowing purple crystals.

"Now close your eyes and concentrate."

I did. I felt a wave of icy fire flow through my veins. It was as though the universe was loaning me even just a fraction of its energy. But not ten seconds later, it seemed, it stopped. My arms felt both cold and hot. 

She took the crystals from me. 

"How do you feel?"

I shrugged.

"I...guess I'm a bit more....balanced, but I still feel--"

_"In here!"_

Out of nowhere, we heard the panicked footsteps of people clamoring into the exhibit. Immediately, Scheherazade slipped something into my pocket. I couldn't tell what it was, just that it was small. But the large thing...I knew what the large thing was, and I felt infuriated just by seeing them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My head feels like a leadweight.


	45. The True Treasure and the Price You Pay For It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So....how's Delta doing?

"D-death?!"

Delta felt a little panicked, to say the least, causing her to drop her cup. Every muscle in her body winced as the clashing of the cup echoed against the study floor. Delta quickly got on her hands and knees, apologizing profusely.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to--"

She suddenly felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. Glancing up, she saw the Collector.

"There is no need to apologize," she assured the writer.  
"I understand that that word can startle many."

_Yeah, no kidding._

The Collector's hand glowed red as she pointed it at the mess on the floor. Almost instantly, the cup began to repair itself. The tea was recollected and it soon was back on the table as if nothing had happened.

Delta, in shock, slowly stood up. She'd seen the Collector perform magic before, but this was the first time that Delta saw it all up close. Even when the Collector had been making the tea, she hadn't seen what had happened. But this time? It was mere inches from her. She was both shocked and intrigued.

"I......wha.....how....?"

The Collector smiled and gave a single nod.

"Truly worthy. Those who have not shied away from seeing my power up close are very good candidates for becoming an archiver."

"A.....what?"

"Someone who would be working closely with me and venture with me in finding new artifacts. Someone who will help organize the museum and use their power to help me expand purgatory."

Almost entranced, Delta sat back down in her chair. Was this finally a brand change? Could she finally felt as though she had significance?

Or was this just too good to be true?

"Just think of it; you would be able to travel across all of time and space," the Collector continued.  
"Explore so many places and cultures. See so much beauty. And the treasure you shall find on the explorations will be worth more than you can even imagine."

"Um.....well, I'm not really interested in gold or anything--" Delta began.

"No, child," she said calmly.  
"Gold, jewelry, amulets. They are all worthless compared to the _true_ treasure. And deep down, you _know_ what I mean."

_Not really._

"Just search inside yourself, Delta....."

The woman closed her eyes and tried to search for this "true treasure." Based on what the Collector said, she knew that it wasn't gold, jewelry, amulets. Was it something tangible? It didn't seem like it was.

_I don't know! I don't know! I don't--!_

Wait. 

Know?

Now she knew!

"Knowledge and wisdom," she gasped quietly.

"Exactly," the Collector affirmed.  
"You would no longer be left out of the knowledge, because you would _possess_ the knowledge. And you need knowledge to tell great stories. Of course, Mystic may be the star attraction and a storyteller, but you and I would be the masterminds of this place. All of the exhibits must answer to us. _We_ would be the creators."

There was a tiny part of Delta that craved this sort of power. She was definitely tired of being left out, and she wanted an upper hand for once. But....was it worth it?

"Think of it this way," the Collector whispered.  
"You can refuse, but you would return to feeling left out, invisible, ignored, be stuck in what you call 'your brand.' Or you can accept, and move forward, achieving power beyond your wildest dreams. All the world's knowledge, all of the knowledge of time and space, it would all be right at your finger tips."

"Right at.....my finger tips...." Delta repeated in a bit of a daze, looking at the palm and finger tips of her hand. 

_Screw it! I'm gonna be a time lady._

"Okay, I accept."

Smiling the Collector took her hand.

"Excellent," she said.  
"Now follow me, and we shall get you started."

The figure with their head down followed as they left the room. 

* * *

The Collector gracefully opened the doors to reveal the room with the soul jar. Up ahead was a familiar box, and behind it, a staff with a tiny floating book atop it.

"What's.....what's in that box?" Delta asked.

But that was when she noticed the engravings. 

Tentacles.

Just......tentacles.

"Oh, no, no, no!" she exclaimed as she turned around.  
"Hell no! Not today, Satan! We are _not_ doing this. Not a chance. No thank you, ma'am. Not in this lifetime. Count me out. I’m going to have to exert my NO muscle on this one. I’m marathoning a whole season of NO. I'd like to get myself a one-way ticket on the Nope Train to No-Way-in-Heckville in the country of Flip-That-I'm-Out."

The Collector put a calming hand on her to stop her.

"You would refuse something so beautiful? Imagine what secrets it holds, what power! It transforms people into their true nature.”

_Gee, where've I heard **that** one before. _

Delta knew what happened to the _last_ two people who opened that box. She did _not_ want to be the third.

And yet.....that box could be her way out of this stupid brand. She _did_ hate feeling invisible, ignored, isolated, out of the loop, excluded. If opening this box was what it was going to take.......

_Easy, Delta.....Pandora opened a box, and look at what happened....._

Delta slowly turned around.

_We got knowledge......_

She approached it and placed her hands on the lid. The cold metal vibrated through her nerves as she lifted it and peeked into the smoke. All of a sudden, she heard a demon cackling from within.

"Oh my...." the Collector exclaimed.  
"It looks like there's a little bit of evil inside of you....."

_Oh no....._

Pain surged through her. She grasped the sides of her head and stumbled to the ground.

"You.....you tricked me....!" she yelled in agony.

She felt her hair become long and black. Her clothing changed into a black, bat-winged robe. But the worst part? She felt an entire new personality enter her. A domineering, magical one. And despite her best attempts, this personality overtook her as her physical changes finished. 

"Why in the name of Lucifer am I on the floor?" she heard a new voice say from her own mouth; a sleek and low one, kind of like the Sorceress, almost _exactly_ like her, in fact.

Like a queen, she stood up and grabbed her staff.

"I shall have to execute whoever is responsible."

_"NO!"_

An earthquake reverberated throughout. The new Delta gave a smirk.

"Oh my.....it seems that one of the exhibits is....acting up."

"Indeed," the Collector nodded.  
"And I know who is responsible for it. Please.....follow me......

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

_......Rose Black."_


End file.
